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CBEST writing practice: internet is useful or harmful for human?


ianoah 1 / -  
Nov 1, 2017   #1
Hello. I have been struggling to pass the cbest writing test even though numerous trials. English is not my first language. That's why my writing doesn't reach the passing level, especially, in convention, usage, and syntax. I am urgently need feedbacks from someone who knows well on the test. I am looking forward to hear you.

Topic:

Internet is useful or harmful for human life?



It is an on-going dispute whether internet affects positive influences on humans' life. Some people believe that it has been negatively working on human society because a big number of people are addicted to using internet, which leads them not only to waste their time and energy but also to interrupt building interpersonal relationships. Others believe that using internet has brought advantages, such as, easy access of information, improvement of efficiency of work, etc. After thoughtful comparing between two positions, I agree with the later that internet is useful to people's life for the following reasons; its convenience of getting information, having a communication, and getting education.

First of all, the introduction of internet allows people to access tremendous of information by one click. It is undeniable that easy access of information has brought unimaginable development on the modern society for last a few decades. We can be easily exposed news from all over the world. If facilitating some functions of internet, we acquire the most relevant data related to our work. For example, while my parent should spend unlimited times to find a piece of useful information as visiting several libraries and reading materials one by one, I can search desirable data by several clicking. The convenience of internet to search information allows us to improve efficiency in our work, study, and life.

Second, internet has become a revolutionary media of human communication. Before internet, we need actual places or sense to interact each other like face to face conversation, hearing a voice through phone, or going to a post office to send a message. Now, we no longer require homes, bars, offices, or cafes to keep in touch with people. We can do it literally anywhere we happen to be. Not only exchanging emails but also recently, online live chatting services replace the traditional face-to face conversation. Some concern that communication through internet actually instigates the tendency of anti-social because lots of people hide behind a screen instead of facing actual people. However, its advantages far outweigh than disadvantages what communication through internet brings.

Finally, internet makes it possible for people to educate themselves without restrictions. Education has been one of critical elements to decide qualities of a person's life; however, the access of it was not easy to anyone due to its demanding cost in terms of money, time, or endeavor. Since the development of web-based learning programs, education is not any more privileged rights for selected people. Anyone can access his/her desired lectures in everywhere if there is internet service. The cost of education also has been dramatically dropped down. For example, while I pursued my bachelor in a traditional college, I should devote my four years only for study as paying tremendous tuition and times because it was impossible to combine classes and work. On the contrary, I am pursuing my master degree through internet in parallel with a job thanks to lower physical limitations of the online education. Therefore, internet helps people to come their dreams allowing to get education if desired.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that internet is beneficial to humans' life for the reasons I have mentioned above. Even though there are controversial harm effects of internet, the main reason of them is not internet itself but misuse of internet users. It is for us to decide whether we use technology for the betterment of our lives or put it to unabated abuse.

Holt - / 7,528 2001  
Nov 1, 2017   #2
Hi Stella, you could probably score as high as a 3 with this essay. I am pretty much sure that you already know where your problems lie in developing these types of essays because you already mentioned a number of them when you asked for a review of this presentation. So, rather than harp on what is wrong with your essay, I would like to focus my advice on how yo can improve your problem points instead.

In order to improve your grammar and syntax, you need to practice English sentences development in a more serious manner. There are actually online free websites that allow you to practice grammar and sentence structures in English. These free websites normally start with simple fill in the blanks tests that get more difficult with every stage that you pass. These would be one of the ways that you can develop your skills in your problem areas.

Another way to improve your grammar and vocabulary is by reading more English based materials. This will help you learn not only vocabulary, but also the proper presentation of English sentences of the simple to complex kind. If you get used to reading materials in English, you will find that these will slowly begin to influence your writing styles which will in turn, help you to improve your English writing skills.
federik - / 4  
Nov 1, 2017   #3
Your explanation about internet was good. You just have to focus on the grammar. By practicing more or reading more English will help you to improve your presentation skill on English. You can improve English by reading novels, listening to English news, movies with English titles and speaking in English will help you to improve your English and you can write best essays .


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