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CBEST: Technology today has been positive or negative impact?

bubuvio 8 / 32  
Jun 10, 2009   #1
Please, a feedback on this essay! Thank you in advance for your time and opinions.

Technology has become a part of our lives. People use that every day to solve problems at work and home. Machines based on technology are involved in many activities today across the world helping people to finish their tasks faster, easy, and more precisely. Internet and computers, satellites and telescopes, or ships and submarines are just a few examples where without technology none of these were possible. The contributions technology has made to modern life have often been positive. As a positive effect, it is used today as a solution to solve problems both at home and in the world.

At home, we often solve daily problems or enjoy activities using technology. For example, we can communicate with people over the Internet by computers. In addition, cars represent pieces where technology is implicated in each car's component. Also, cars are made to commute to work or for shopping because in our society nearly everybody has a car. Fifty years ago this couldn't have happened easily and efficiently as now. Moreover, I use my car not only to go to work but also for shopping or for a trip to a park, beach or friends. Houses' security systems, for example, connected to the police, is more powerfully because is build on technologies developed in the last years. We use it in the kitchen to cook our food, in the laundry room to wash and dry our clothes, in the family room to watch television - these are all examples where technology as part of our daily life, helps to save time. We use technology all the time without even thinking of it.

Also, throughout the world, technology is used to solve many problems. All communications are possible at a rapid pace between various parts of the world using satellites. Furthermore, the International Space Station and the Hubble telescope involve the latest technology in the world. Also, the Internet offers us opportunities to find all sorts of information quickly with just a few mouse clicks. For example, I found my current job by exploring different Websites on the Internet. Besides, aircraft transport people and objects throughout the entire world rapidly and safely using the modernist technology. Cloning and biomedical engineering are possible today because technology is developed at the very high level and its benefit can be filled everywhere. Technology has become part of our daily life.

It's difficult to do many things today without technology. Throughout the entire world, technology can be encountered everywhere. The contributions of technology have made our life easier. The quality of our lives has improved where technology has been involved. Technology has become an indispensable part of our lives today and has a positive impact.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Jun 10, 2009   #2
Hmmm... You say that you cannot do simple things such as secure your house or feed yourself without technology. Fifty years ago, people could do those things without technology. Is that really a positive development?

Turning to the style of your essay, I notice too much repetition of the premise of the prompt: Technology is a part of daily life. On the other hand, I notice a lot of examples, which is very good.

Now, a few corrections:

Today,T echnology has become a part of our lives .

People use technology every day to solve daily problems at work and home.

At home, we often solve daily problems or enjoy activities using technology.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Jun 10, 2009   #3
"Intelligent machines based on technology are involved in many activities today across the world." Um, no. We have yet to create a machine that manifests anything resembling true intelligence. To explain that in more detail would involve a fairly complicated look at debates over what constituents A.I., so I'll forebear. Just be aware that you should rephrase.

Fifty years ago, people could do those things without technology.

Really? I'd have said we've been using technology to feed ourselves since the advent of agriculture. Come to think of it, even primitive hunters normally use spears, or arrows, or stone knives to catch their prey and then cook it over a fire, so you'd have to go back even further to find a time when we fed ourselves without technology.

Issues of timelines aside, Simone has a valid point -- you should probably say that technology allows us to solve basic problems more easily and efficiently than we could otherwise, which is what you say elsewhere in your essay.
OP bubuvio 8 / 32  
Jun 11, 2009   #4
Thanks! I made some changes hopping this draft is better than before. Please advice!
And one more question: I am not sure what title can fit to this topic. "Technology Today", "Living in a New Era", or ??? Any suggestion?
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Jun 11, 2009   #5
Instead of "faster, easy, and more precisely" say "more quickly, easily, and precisely." Can you hear how better that sounds? That's because the items in the list now agree with each other in form. Always strive for such agreement within lists.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Jun 12, 2009   #6
Here are some more fixes and suggestions:

"Technology has become a part of our lives. Peoplethat we use that every day to solve problems at work and home."

"Internet and computers, satellites and telescopes, or ships and submarines are just a few examples where without technology none of these were possible." Actually, these are examples of technology, not things made possible by technology. Well, I suppose they are both, but because they are the former describing them as the latter sounds wrong.

"Fifty years ago this couldn't have happened as easily and efficiently as now." What does the "this" refer to, exactly?
OP bubuvio 8 / 32  
Jun 12, 2009   #7
Thanks! I made some changes base on your feedback. How that sound now, please?
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Jun 14, 2009   #8
This is much stronger, although there is still too much repetition of simple ideas for my taste.
elzbietabielec 3 / 5  
Jun 18, 2009   #9
In todays society people use technology in different ways, some use for personal use and others use it for business. Businesses use technology to communicate to outside agencies and also to customers.

People do abuse technology and generally it is used in a very positive and constructive manner.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Jun 18, 2009   #10
You might be able to address some of Simone's concerns by using the word "technology" less. Either employ synonyms, pronouns, or new sentence structures that allow you to eliminate some instances of the word. Your essay will then seem more well-organized than repetitive, or at least, it will seem more like the former and less like the latter.
Notoman 20 / 419  
Jun 18, 2009   #11
I see what Simone means about being repetitive using the word "technology." There really aren't a lot of synonyms for the word, "technology," but there are still ways around the repetition. I will rewrite your last sentence to show you what I mean:

It is difficult to do many things today without the gains made by research and development. Throughout the world, technological advances are encountered everywhere and those advances have improved the quality of our lives and made them easier. Technology is an indispensable part of today's world and has a positive impact.
biggestv 5 / 13  
Jun 18, 2009   #12

I was trying to read the essay but couldn't. Can you tell me where to see as it's just showing "see below" and after that I nothing appears?
vietfun2k 9 / 47 1  
Jun 23, 2009   #13
This is one of the MCAT essay questions. To me, the answer depends on how one develops the technology and how that technology is used.

Positives: the Green Revolution (genetically modified crops to support the growing population of India & Mexico), antibiotics & vaccines to treat and prevent disease outbreaks, electron microscope to study biological systems at the molecular level, hybrid cars to reduce gas emission/global warming, etc...

Not all technologies are beneficial however. For example, during World War II, scientists learned a lot from human experiments, but some of these experiments were unethical, so the technologies/innovations developed from these experiments could be considered negatives... the atomic bomb, for example.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Jun 24, 2009   #14
I think you are confusing two separate issues, here. Many of the Nazi experiments, though highly unethical, produced very useful, positive contributions to science. Much of our knowledge of the effects of hypothermia, as well as of the best ways to treat chemical burns, comes from those experiments. That the knowledge was obtained through evil means does not make the knowledge itself evil. The development of the atomic bomb had little to do with human experiments, but could be viewed as negative, though even that isn't entirely obvious. You would probably want to look more generally at the ways technology can be used to harm and oppress to make your point in this case.
Notoman 20 / 419  
Jun 24, 2009   #15
This is an old thread and the original author most likely won't be coming back to it . . .

One could make an argument that the atomic bomb, though destructive, was not a negative technology. When you compare the alternative to employing the bomb--prolonging World War II and an invasion of the Japanese mainland--the bomb was the lesser of two evils. An invasion of the Japanese homeland would have cost an estimated million lives of Allied soldiers. Many times the number of Japanese civilians would have died in an invasion. Considering that the death toll (for civilians and military) topped 48,000,000 in World War II, the 220,000 directly killed by the atomic bomb is a small number. Claims could also be made that the advent of the atomic bomb has thus far prevented wars fought full force. A certain amount of detente and finesse is required when your foe has access to such destructive technology.

Or not. The argument that the creation of the atomic bomb was evil is also valid.

Technologies--in and of themselves--are not negative. It is the implementation of those technologies that can be evil. Satellite television is not evil, but the beaming of signals carrying "Barney" into my home via PBS is nefarious.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Jun 24, 2009   #16
Actually, I think you have done a very good job of showing that the creation of the atomic bomb was not evil. Atomic bombs can be used in ways that are evil, but the technology itself is not innately negative. Such weapons can be used to end wars quickly, or to prevent wars by their very existence, or even theoretically as tools of peace. All of these are positive uses.

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