Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.
Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Advanced technology's products have played pivotal role in 21st century life, including in the public surveillance which aimed to monitor societies' activities. Even this issue is no longer the top secret of government and intelligence agency as people realize the vast development of informational technology, many of them are still unaware that they are under strict supervision. By a great access to keep the peacefulness and security within the country, I believe that the advantages of this recent utilize of technology outweigh the fact that the privacy is a rare thing to maintain.
Obviously, an official surveillance conducted by government restricts the freedom of citizen resulting on lack of privacy. All citizen's behaves in public area are recorded by security cameras and, desperately, as well as their communication through mobile phone even its private conversation and messaging. Another thing is that so easy to locate people by cell phone tracking. An American cyber-crime specialist at TED Talks video revealed that most of technology companies have assisted government by open-encrypted people activities and communication with a system installed in almost all mobile phones. He added that this even more dangerous than hijacking since people have no longer their privacy even it is a fundamental right of human. Nevertheless, this has been a controversial issue whether or not important to keep our privacy and against the state but I personally believe that this development is considerably beneficial for human life.
It has been proved that the using of CCTV and cell phone tracking and recording brings a pleasure as it establish the peacefulness of life nowadays. The crime rate in majority of countries could be decreased thanks to security cameras which help police to arrest the offenders and maintain the security by avoiding crime through surveillance toward all the public facilities and areas. Another advantage is the easiness to track crime agents which are harder in the past. By cell phone tracking, it is easy to collect evidence and detain people who commit crime. In Indonesia, a huge number of corruptors and those who perpetrate tax avoidance are jailed based on the evidence and their activity which supervised by police officer. This method is reliable and proves that this cutting-edge device would bring peace and hold the jurisdiction of country.
All in all, I believe that the merits of public surveillance by sophisticated technological device are greater than the demerit.
you wrote properly, nonetheless there are some correction in your conclusion
All in all : these words conclusion code , however usually these word used in speaking not in academic writing
in conclusion, before you wrote your personal opinion, it is necessary to paraphrase your introduction
Hi RAY93, I must say that majority of your essay has focused on security and the difference it made to our daily lives. Though the essay has suggested a pafticular topic, I would suggest that you add a few sentences towards the end of your essay depicting the overall analysis on how technology affected our lives. Indeed, it had been a huge difference, the advancement of technology has a gone a long way, from the period it started until this time, the evolution of technology has really gone far.
For future reference, mind the flow and the strength of your essay, make sure that the essay startdd strong and ends comparatively stronger, what I just notice is that you had a very good start in this argument, however, as I read through the last part of your conclusion, I was looking for the same strength and I didn't see it but of course, this is just a suggestion and its really up to you to follow it.
Overall, it's a fairly written essay and though there are a few additions that I would suggest, you have a good one here.
