IELTS writing 2 - is celebration vital? Are people spend too much on it?

a lot of money goes on family events

Dear all, it is me again... as usual, comments are always welcome! many thanks!

People spend too much on family celebrations such as birthdays and weddings. What are the importance of these celebrations? Do you think people really spend too much?

Nowadays people tend to spend a lot on family events like weddings and birthday parties. While these celebrations are vital of the function of building strong family bonding between family members, I believe they sometimes are wasting too much to make the event looks grand.

It is undeniable that family celebrations take the essential role to the family as of it facilitating the reunion of family members. A birthday party for grandfather, for example, not only to celebrate of his birthday but also a chance for family members and relatives to group together. During the event they can meet, talk and share and I believe strong family bonding will be built throughout the event. Moreover a family celebration also suitable place for the announcement to carry out. Wedding party, for instance, is a place to let friends and families of husband and wife to meet and as a witness of two people form the family.

Despite this, it will never be the excuse to spend so much on any celebration event. In fact it is common to seen people are too materialism when they are arranging their event of celebration. For example, they tend to hold it in the ball room of a grand hotel instead of restaurant or other places just because of the decoration. They also preferring luxury food and beverage as well as hiring live band for music just for better enjoyment and entertainment. By which I believe it is already not align with the main purpose of the celebrating event which needed at the beginning.

In conclusion, although celebrating events are important for family reunion, their approach on overspending onto these are not encouraged.

Good afternoon,

It seems like you have omitted some commas. Thus, some sentences need more explanations in order to explain the detail. In an example, for the last sentence of the first paragraph, what are they wasting too much? Are they wasting money? or time? You need to clarify such details therefore, the questions would not be remained after finishing reading the essay.

Thanks for your comments. True, I need carefully proofreading my statement beforehand to avoid such confusions to happen...

@smally01 do not separate the discussion about the event from the amount spent on it. Those two discussions go hand in hand in your presentation. For example, when you say that the grandfather has a birthday that is spent on extravagantly, you can explain that it is a milestone birthday for the elderly such as the grandfather turning 75 or 80 years old. The family decides to spend lavishly because they want to have a very good memory of the occasion and also show respect to the elders. Then you can discuss why you think spending on similar events such as weddings and anniversaries are an extreme expense that people spend (not waste) too much money on. You lack the reasons as to why these are unreasonable expenses. All you did was explain how these become expensive reunions. Which runs counter to the question being asked in the prompt.

@Holt thanks for the comments. Now I realize that I might be off topic and will receive lower mark on TA as I wrongly interpreted the question... i.e the actual meaning of the question is asking:

1. What are the importance of the big spending celebrations?
2. Do you think people really spend too much?

I should pay more attention onto the analysis or at least understanding on the question in the first place... hope that I can do that better next time.