Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5

IELTS;Some celebrities misguide young people& some guide them in right direction


leoking 7 / 24 1  
May 21, 2014   #1
Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that celebrities are known for their glamorous lifestyle rather than the work they do. While I agree this will bring negative impacts on the younger generation, this is not necessarily the case for those celebrities who are ambitious in their jobs.

It is true that some celebrities tend to show off their images in front of the public. For example, some movie starts enjoy wearing luxury brand clothes and showing their expensive life style in front of the media, thereby gaining the public attention. If they continue to behave in such a way, it will create a misleading image to young people who may think that extraordinary life can be achieved without hard work. Consequently, the attention of young people may become focused on chasing the dream of celebrity status. This is detrimental to study and work ethics and habits.

Nevertheless, I believe that other celebrities do set up role models to young people because of their visible accomplishments. Firstly, celebrities such as sports player whose performance and professional skills can be directly seen by their fans. This means that people understand that the great deal of efforts on training is directly linked to their results. Therefore, this kind of self-made celebrity can inspire children to develop their talents through application and perseverance. Secondly, other celebrities such as musician also have achieved great success in their career. Take Michael Jackson as an example, his works are widely spread around the world, and have been extremely welcomed by the younger generation. His songs spread the idea that people should care about each other, which suggests to young people how to become a good member of society.

In summary, although some celebrities misguide young people by showing their external wealth and appearance, other celebrities do lead young people in the right direction.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
May 21, 2014   #2
Some people think that celebrities are known for their glamorous lifestyle rather than the work they do.

This is not the core of your prompt. It is about what kind of example that their glamorous life styles set on the young people. You need to read the prompt very carefully and understand it better. Then align your writing with the prompt :)
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
May 21, 2014   #3
It is true thatS ome celebrities tend to show off their images in front of the public. For example, some movie starts to enjoy wearing luxury brand clothes and showing their expensiveas to show life style in front of the media, thereby is togainingattractthe public attention.

In summary, although some celebrities misguide young people by showing their external wealth and appearance, other celebrities do lead young people in the right direction.

This is too simple, but good. However, you need to put suggestion(s) as to show how the doers should act for the perspective.
msarkar 8 / 15  
May 21, 2014   #4
Some people think that celebrities are known for their glamorous lifestyle rather than the work they do. While I agree this will bring negative impacts on the younger generation, this is not necessarily the case for those celebrities who are ambitious in their jobs.

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Pay special attention to your introduction as it helps to build a positive impression in examiner's mind when he/she starts reading your essay.
OP leoking 7 / 24 1  
May 23, 2014   #5
what's the problem with me intro, can you be specific? please make meaningful comments


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS;Some celebrities misguide young people& some guide them in right direction