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IELTS TASK I: cell-pone market share - upward trend in Nokia, Motorola, and Sony Ericsson.


fardan10 18 / 25 1  
Apr 3, 2016   #1
This is my writing task I, please give me suggestion to improve my writing skill:

A break down of selling rate of cell-pone manufacturers in 2005 and 2006 is highlighted by table and counted in percentages. Overall, the proportion of mobile phone selling in three companies experienced an expanding trend, while the rest of manufacturers were recorded tencency to decline.

There was an upward trend of market share in Nokia, Motorola, and Sony Ericsson. The market leader was placed by Nokia at 32.5 in 2005, and rose slightly at more than a third in the next year, however the most growh was Motorola which expanded to 21.1 percent.

On the other hand, it experienced significant fall for the Others from 19.2 in the first year to 16.2 percent in the next year, while BnQ Mobile, LG, and Samsung had just minimal drop. It recorded that Samsung decreased more than a half from 4.9 percent to 2.4 percent. Although there was some changes in the level of sales, it shown the rank of market share remained unchanged in the last two years.




xutong 3 / 6  
Apr 3, 2016   #2
the topic says: selecting and reporting the main features.
so except for you analysis to which sell phone brand's percentage is going up/ down. I would add this to the beginning:
The purpose for this chart is to comparing the market percentage each top cell phone brand takes, of which ..... is going uphill while... is going down


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