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Cellphone tracking and security cameras - modern technology spy on people


Fadhilahumar91 61 / 73 6  
Sep 25, 2016   #1
Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, though cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?


Advanced technology era have increased professionals' performance in their job such metropolitan polices using GPS to monitor terrorism action in the city center. Although, in most cases show that it has been minimized citizen's alert to secure their valuable items. In my view, the sophisticated technology has more benefits than the drawbacks.

The GPS helps police to prevent terrorism action such a badly-bombed in the city center. This is because GPS have high accuracy to monitor terrorist behavior. From 2008 to 2013, FBI conduct research about how much GPS effectiveness to prevent American inhabitants from terrorism violence. This is resulted in that 50% public-bombed can decrease. Those make FBI to work more effective to secure American citizens than the past.

Having said that, using modern technology to track most people such a camera security in the houses have a drawback. CCTV increase robbing rate in many houses. This is caused by many housewives lack of alertness to protect their valuable items, because most of them rely on CCTV protection. The result of Japanese psychologist's survey in 2010 presents that camera security in houses reduce awareness of family member to protect their home. This conditions affect robbing rate in Japan although in some cases such in the supermarket, CCTV decreased robbery rate.

In conclusion, modern technology such as CCTV and GPS increase working quality in some expert. Obviously, both help police to protect most citizen from the high crime although in some cases it has a few disadvantage. In addition, I convince that such sophisticated items have many advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Sep 25, 2016   #2
Hello. The follwoing are several notes on your essay. Hope it help you to polish your writing skill.

- ... using GPS to monitor terrorism action in the city center.
- Although, in most cases show that it has been minimized(I think the word "lower" is more suitable) citizen's alert to secure their valuable items., in my view...

- DuringFrom 2008 to 2013, FBI conducted a research about how (...) inhabitants from terrorism violence .
- This is resulted in that 50% decrease of public-bombed can decrease .
- Those makeThis enables FBI to work more effective to secure American citizens thancompare to their work in the past.
- This is caused bydue to the lack of many housewives lack of alertness to protect their ...
- ...increase working quality in(do you mean "for"?) some expert.
- ...both help police to protect most citizen from the high crime although in some cases it has a few disadvantage in some cases.

The above essay is quite good. To develop the essay further, I think you need to pay attention to the link between each paragraph. I think you need to sharpen the connection in each sentence and even paragraph so the above essay will attract readers' attention to read it.
Iedha01 21 / 40  
Sep 26, 2016   #3
Hi there,
Your esaay is good enough, only few mistakes I' ve noticed. Let me show you,

-The GPS HELPS police to prevent terrorism ... This is because GPS HAVE high accuracy to ... (The first sentence you put 's', so that in the second sentence must be HAS)

-From 2008 to 2013, FBI CONDUCT research about how much GPS effectiveness to prevent ...(I think it's the past event so you must put THE PAST VERB, it must be CONDUCTED)


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