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IELTS Task 1 : The challenges people face when they go to live in other countries


tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Jan 22, 2014   #1
The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The given chart reveals about the percentage integration challenges based on age group when they immigrate in. Generally, there are three age groups which are; 18-34, 35-54 and over 55, and three aspects which are being appraisal of reported challenges per person.

Turning to the data, for age group 18-34, the new place (40%) and friendship (46%) are the main challenge aspects when they move to a new country, while language-learning is the easy one for them to be learnt with 29 percent. Standing in contrast, older people, aged over 55, get an obstacle to learn the second language with 54% difficulties level. However, they are more easily for making friends and finding somewhere for living, over 20 percent.

A more detailed look at the chart depicts that balancing the percentage of problem aspects for people, who have aged 35 to 54, are stable in approximately above 35%. In contrast, adults have lowest percentage in local language, while language-learning is the main problem of elderly people. Moreover, the data shows more doubled percentage (23% to 54%) of reported challenges widely regarding to people's ages.

In conclusion, each age group has different problem when they adapt in the new environment. Perhaps, people have different understanding about problem-solving skill to reduce culture shock.




Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Jan 22, 2014   #2
The given chart reveals about the percentage integration challenges based on age group when they immigrate in.

You need to have one or two sentences that paraphrase the title of the graph for your introduction. This is ok, but I feel you can improve its presentation and clarity. This is what I suggest;

The bar chart reveals the information about integration challenges faced by different age groups. These challenges include learning local language, finding shelter and making friends.

Turning to the data, for age group 18-34, the new place (40%) and friendship (46%) are the main challenge aspects when they move to a new country, while language-learning is the easy one for them to be learnt with 29 percent. Standing in contrast, older people, aged over 55, get an obstacle to learn the second language with 54% difficulties level. However, they are more easily for making friends and finding somewhere for living, over 20 percent.

Before this detailed paragraph, you need to come up with an overview of this graphical presentation which discuss the more significant observations very briefly without any support from data.
InitialB - / 1  
Jan 22, 2014   #3
As it is an IELTS task1 essay, I suggest to add at least one sentence describing the data for age group 35 to 54 in the second paragraph.
OP tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Jan 22, 2014   #4
Before this detailed paragraph, you need to come up with an overview of this graphical presentation which discuss the more significant observations very briefly without any support from data

Dear Pahan, i really appreciate with your suggestion.
It is my overview, because i only have 1 sentence in introduction, so i decided to join overview and introduction in one paragraph. Please give me your suggestion.

Generally, there are three age groups which are; 18-34, 35-54 and over 55, and three aspects which are being appraisal of reported challenges per person.

As it is an IELTS task1 essay, I suggest to add at least one sentence describing the data for age group 35 to 54 in the second paragraph.

It is because all aspects in age group 35-54 have percentage over 30 percent, so i mention

are stable in approximately above 35%.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Jan 22, 2014   #5
Dear Pahan, i really appreciate with your suggestion.
It is my overview, because i only have 1 sentence in introduction, so i decided to join overview and introduction in one paragraph. Please give me your suggestion.

No, don't do that. Leave the introduction as a separate sentence. Then do the overview.

Generally, there are three age groups which are; 18-34, 35-54 and over 55, and three aspects which are being appraisal of reported challenges per person

.... so you say this your overview - however, this is actually should be a part of the introduction as it doesn't reveal any major observations of your graphs.

I think you need to know what you should write in the overview. What you should write in the Overview is that the main trends (your observations) without giving any details. It's kind of an outline of the graphical representation. Let's do one for this task;

Overall, it is observed that integration challenges vary according to making friends had been the biggest challenge for those who were young, while learning the local language had been the most difficult challenge for the older people.


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