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[TOEFL] Has the change of easier food preparation improved the way people live?


aoey 6 / 17 2  
Nov 14, 2013   #1
TOPIC : Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

From my opinion, I strongly disagree that easier food preparation has improved the way people live. If it doesn't make people's better, why has it been changed? I think it is to meet the people's requirement. In the former times, people spent much time in the kitchen. That caused wasting abounding time. But these days, people can minimize their cooking hours from either choosing to consume a frozen food or buying a meal from a fast food restaurant so that they can have more time to do other things. It roughly seems their lives get better but it is not like that at all.

Comparing with a fresh meal, a frozen food and a fast food are undoubtedly easier to prepare, in that they can save time and reduce the process of food preparation. They are suitable only for some rush meal not for having as a main dish every day. Since nutrition from such a meal cannot provide all matters which our bodies need, people should not always consume, such as a hamburger. It is well known as a fast food and mainly consisted of meat and bread. Obviously, only two kinds of nutrition are inadequate for our body. If people continuously consume it, that will not be good for their health. Because such a kind of food contains lots of cholesterol and carbohydrate, excessive consumption will cause to obesity.

Moreover, working-out parents do not have much time to prepare food for their children. It leads the parents to cook from a frozen food instead of fresh ingredients. Frozen foods cannot provide all vitamins and nutrition which childhood needs. It may affect to the children's development and immunity. For example, Children who always have frozen foods are likely to get ailing easier. They are more vulnerable than the group of children who have fresh meals. It seems that such a problem is increasing every day.

In conclusion, people actually obtain more convenience from this alteration but they are not aware of its drawbacks. In my point of view, I believe that now this change does not make an improvement on the way people live. Because most of the people are still misusing, it brings more about health problems than life improvement.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Nov 15, 2013   #2
From my opinion, I strongly disagree that easier food preparation has improved the way people live.

You open your essay with stating your opinion on the argument. In other words you assume that the reader knows the background of the issue. However, this is not the appropriate structure for this task. You need to introduce the issue first, and then conclude the introduction stating your opinion.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Nov 15, 2013   #3
You can write well. However, as dumi suggested above, you need to pay more attention to the essay structure. She has given the structure you need to follow for your essay introduction. Then comes the body paragraphs where you give reasons to justify your position on the argument and support those reasons with specific examples. I don't find that's happening with this body para.
OP aoey 6 / 17 2  
Nov 15, 2013   #4
Thank you so much Pahan
I'll practice more and more :)


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