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IELTS Writing task 2 - Change is good for people's life or not?

juntrinh 3 / 4 1  
Jul 24, 2017   #1
Topic: Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

changes not necessarily helps

People have different views about the question of whether they should change or not. While many people persist in doing one thing in their whole life, personally I argue that change is an unavoidable thing in our life.

On the one hand, many people tend to repeat the same things as they believe they have achieved some security. However, change is not always a personal option. Even when people believe they are resisting change themselves, they cannot stop the world around them from changing. For instance, technology and scientific breakthroughs are changing the world on a daily basis. Another example would be that some people do not want to change their jobs because they are familiar with their current work and their colleagues. If they work in another workplace, they need to adapt a new environment, and they cannot concentrate on their work. Sooner or later, however, they would find that the familiar jobs no longer exist, or that the safety behaviours are no longer appropriate.

On the other hand, I believe that change brings positive consequences for people. To give one example, repeating one job may be too tedious, and change can help people to have motivation for working. However, change is not always for the better. A lot of innovations, for example, are made with the aim of making money. In that case new things should not be promoted. As a result, people need to keep pace with changes.

On the whole, I believe that people should not remain to do the same things, although all change does not necessarily have good outcomes.

Thank you for your help!

Holt [Contributor] - / 7,932 2187  
Jul 24, 2017   #2
Trinh, your discussion would have been better if you had tried to follow the proper discussion outline as indicated in the original prompt. the problems with your essay started with the mistake that you made in the representation of the prompt in your paraphrasing. You neglected to properly assess the requirements of the essay and represent it in your outline plus paragraph discussion. How did you fail to properly assess the essay requirements? You were asked to discuss 2 points of view and then your personal opinion. You only discussed one point of view and your opinion. In terms of task accuracy, that would result in a score of 4 because your response to the required discussion is minimal. That will be a tremendous drawback in terms of your final score.

It is important to get the highest possible marks in the TA section so that the other sections will automatically increase in possible scoring. If you can prove you understood the instructions, the examiner will be more lenient in terms of your other weaknesses. The failure of your opening statement, the paraphrasing sealed the failing score for your TA portion and assured that you would score failing to barely passing in the rest of the scoring considerations. The correct paraphrasing and discussion outline would be as follows:

There are two points of view regarding change in a person's life. One point of view is that people should always do the same things and never change. The other, is that change is a good thing for people's lives. This essay will examine the two points of view and offer my personal opinion and support for one of the two points of view.
nguyet_nguyen 4 / 11 1  
Jul 25, 2017   #3
I think you should analyze both of perspectives and try to balance that. Then, give your personal opinion about that problem. The main requirement is "discuss" not "extend your opinion" => try to make clear the question.

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