Hi, I am practicing for my GRE Issue essay. I need help checking run-ons and sentence fragments, grammatical errors and....
Please correct as many errors as possible. Thank you so much.
"Progress should be the aim of any great society. People too often cling unnecessarily to obsolete ways of thinking and acting because of both a high comfort level and a fear of the unknown"
Write a response in which you examine your own position on the statement. Explore the extent to which you either agree or disagree with it, and support your reasoning with evidence or examples. Be sure to reflect on ways in which the statement might or might not be true, and how this informs your thinking on the subject.
Ans:
Opponents, refuting the idea of changing, often think that change might cause confusion, worry and problems. These people are referred as narrow-minded and insular in views because they fear the unknowns of the future. However, a close examination reveals that change is necessary, and a change would bring improvement and development to a society.
First and foremost, a change will always bring progress to a society. These progresses are crucial to a country in the long run for development. A big change does not happen in just a few days; it is often the effect of years of hard work. The education system in Malaysia faced a big change in the year 2002- All science subjects are taught in English instead of in Malay language. This change has bettered students' lives and improved the chances of Malaysian students getting accepted in universities overseas.
Besides the long-term benefits of a big change in terms of advancement, a small change which seems insignificant will bring improvements to a society too. Moving away from a city to a country side might be a start. This type of change will let retirees see things in different ways and might give artists new inspirations and directions.
But , beyond the long-terms benefits of big change and short-terms advantages of small change, there are always people unwilling to make new changes. These people are afraid of the unknowns of the future and drawbacks of a new change. With technological changes, many traditional skills have become obsolete. Cell phone, which allows for convenience, has been used to replace telephone. The change would not have been possible if the idea of using cell phone were controverted in the first place.
While it may now be evident that a big change rewards investment in the future, it should also be apparent that a small change improves lives in the long run for development. In summary, change is necessary, and it is a great investment for everyone.
The education system in Malaysia faced a big change in the year 2002- All, in which year all science subjects arebegan to be taught in English instead of in Malay language.
Moving away from a city to a country side might be a start.
Just a few points for your thoughts;
We live in a very dynamic world where change is inevitable. If you analyse the evolution of all living beings, those who were able to adapt to new environments survived and those who couldn't became extinct. So accepting change as a natural phenomenon is important for people to manage it well. Those who resist change fearing it would upset the existing system would not progress as they try to stay constant in an equation which has so many variables.
this change has bettered students' lives off
This type of change will let retirees see things in different ways and might give artists new inspirations and directions. --> this type of change will help to ease off significantly the alarming issue of traffic jam in big cities and, somehow, inspire artists to make new breakthroughs in their future products.
Those are some small suggestions. You have an lovely essay. I like it :)
