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Change in life- Two different opinions.


ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Apr 13, 2012   #1
Hello guys. I would be appreciated to know your opinion about my essay. Please help me to improve it. Regards.

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


Humankind history shows that people have always been looking forward changes in various aspects. Flourishing new societies, new innovations, immigrations, etc, are the clear-cut instances that reveal the tendency of human being to change and manipulate his surrounded environment. All these examples, however, are regard to long-term changes. For te short period of time, people's attitudes toward change are different. Some think that change is a useful thing, while others prefer to continue rest of their life in a routine way. This essay tries to discuss both these viewpoints.

The belief of living with no change stems from several important psychological and physiological issues. People who have grown up in a static atmosphere without creativity, would usually like to maintain their situations. In fact, they are conservative individuals that always afraid of any changes. Secondly, some people inherently are cautious and conservative. It is shown that some characteristics are with people as they are born. In other words, they genetically live according to a routine schedule with no change. Consequently, this viewpoint is derived from the people's intrinsic and external environmental effects.

On the other hand, a group of people have completely different attitude in this concern. They think that changes can provide a society full of creativity. Many inventions and advancements arising from a creative atmosphere. They believe variation of living circumstances in various aspects not only improve the life quality by finding optimal conditions, but also it follows by new goals in life which can provide a dynamic world. In such world, everything is new and at this atmosphere novel ideas and opinions can flourish.

For my perspective, living in basis of change can be more useful for promotion of people in comparison with in a static world. Nevertheless, age can be considered as a very important factor which impacts the people's views with regard to changes. Young adults, for instance, are commonly more interested in to get new things, since they are energetic and full of vitality. Therefore, age should also viewed as another key element, beside psychological and physiological causes, that have special influences on people's thoughts toward change.

To sum up, there are two different opinions with respect to issue concerning change in life. Some believe that change can be suitable in any respects, and a group of people try to escape from any changes. The first opinion is more reasonable and if societies want to improve their levels in various facets, the authorities should prompt individuals to foster this idea in their minds.

xyx0905 16 / 49  
Apr 13, 2012   #2
Hi Zarafi,

I guess you write at least more than 330 words in this attempt? In a real test, do you think you are able to complete a 330 words writing within 40mins? I suggest that always control your word limit and time limit is good for you.

Humankind history shows that people have always been looking forward changes in various aspects. Flourishing new societies, new innovations, immigrations, etc, are the clear-cut instances that reveal the tendency of human being to change and manipulate his surrounded environment. All these examples, however, are regard to long-term changes. For te short period of time, people's attitudes toward change are different. Some think that change is a useful thing, while others prefer to continue rest of their life in a routine way. This essay tries to discuss both these viewpoints.

1. 89 words, my 1st paragraph in my body is about 100-110 words, your introduction is bit complicate to understand. the question is just simply ask you some prefer to do same thing in their life time, others prefer change is beneficial, discuss the both view and give your opinion.

2. "This essay tries to discuss both these viewpoints." this is so-called template sentences. Please try to write in your own word and give your position.

The belief of living with no change stems from several important psychological and physiological issues. People who have grown up in a static atmosphere without creativity, would usually like to maintain their situations. In fact, they are conservative individuals that always afraid of any changes. Secondly, some people inherently are cautious and conservative. It is shown that some characteristics are with people as they are born. In other words, they genetically live according to a routine schedule with no change. Consequently, this viewpoint is derived from the people's intrinsic and external environmental effects.

Personally speaking, this paragraph is supposed to present the advantages of unchanged life => this question is only use "same things", so that "same things" could be doing a job, or maintain a unchanged lifestyle. In another words, this is open style IELTS question, difficult to achieve good score in Task Response part, as it is open so anything is able to become your ideas.

Here is my ideas in the 2nd paragraph:

doing a unchanged job for relatively long period of time => advantages: internal promotion and a sense of security of their employment

maintaining a unchanged habit for a long time => advantages: minimise the risk to try new things (sometimes trying new things could cause financial lost), there are good reasons to keep a habit for life time such as mental and physical well-being.

I have prepared a topic " doing same job for same organisation v.s. change job frequently" is currently open in this forum. I think one of my ideas in the 3rd paragraph can be use in your question.

cheers
OP ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Apr 13, 2012   #3
Thank you very much dear X. Wang. your comments were really useful.
Regards
lynnyang 5 / 12  
Apr 19, 2012   #4
hi Zafari,you used lots of explanation method to expand your topic, your ideas are very clear^^
but like xyx0905 said, you can expand your main paragraphs with more specific ideas.

This is the method I often use. When I prepare a new topic, i will figure about the key words in this topic. For example, the kw for your topic are "same thing " and "change".Then I will think about the extension of these kw.

Same thing:
study related--academic fields
work related --same job
entertainments&habits--chose to travel to same place or same style of clothes,.food etc .
change: the catagories are the same as above

then you can explain each sub-idea by talking about the causes and effects

Hope this can help you^^

Cheers
Lynn
leeminh 5 / 17 2  
Apr 19, 2012   #5
Here is some ideas for "staying or not staying in the same job" essay, I hope it helpful for you.
Staying in the same job:
Employees have a stable career with one employer.
They have good pension and health insurance.
Their salaries gradually increase.
They can also have more opportunities to get promotion within the organisation by demonstration loyalty.
Experienced staff can be trusted with more responsibility
Not staying in the same job:
People often change jobs in order to further their career.
Another company may offer a higher salary.
People who change jobs can gain experience.
They can learn different skills.
Changing jobs is interesting and challenging.
people can retrain in a different occupation.
In a fast-changing world workers need to be flexible.
People need to develop a range of experience and skills

You also can find a template on the internet to renew your assay :)


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