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What I want to change in my university is to expand the library


Yoki 1 / -  
May 2, 2016   #1
If you could make one important change in a school that you attended, what change would you make?

As we all know that, the library is the symbol of a university. It is a major component that will be considered by many students and parents when they are selecting universities. Moreover, libraries are symbols of a city, even a country. It represents the education and culture level of a country. So what I want to change in my university is to expand the library.

The first benefit of expanding libraries is that students will have more spaces for studying. As the number of students increasing these years, studying zones become more crowded than ever before, especially during the examination period. In order to find a quiet place to prepare examinations, many students as well as my friend Jeff come to school at 7am every day. It seems that universities just intend to absorb as many students as they can without considering the accessibility of learning spaces.

After expanding libraries, the materials and resources (books, DVDs and database etc.) will also be improved. On one hand, it is a good news for students who are struggling in searching literature for their theses. On the other hand, more textbooks will be available for students like me who cannot afford the price of new textbooks.

Although libraries are important for students, book reservation is another essential obligation of them. In fact, libraries have the responsibility to collect, keep and protect those valuable resources. 'Draft History of Qing', for instance, is kept at Beijing City Library, which is a precious resource of history research. Therefore, expanding libraries also enhances the process of book collection and reservation.

To sum up, expanding the library is the most appropriate change for my university. Only via this can students enjoy more spaces to study, only via this can students access more resources, and only via this can valuable resources be protected more efficiently.

justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
May 2, 2016   #2
Hi Yoki, I find your essay to be very direct to the point, it definitely answered the prompt and what the purpose of the essay is.

You manage to showcase the idea of the library expansion to be far greater than it is as an expansion. The thing is, when confronted with this question, the library is the last thing that comes to peoples mind, I know this for a fact because the first thing that came to my mind was the modernization of the school system and not the library.

Moreover, you were able to convey a clear message by using simple words and a good flow of the sentence. This way of creating your essay will earn you good remarks, not only here on EF but even more so from the critiques that will judge your work on a different level.

I hope I was able to provide you with a valuable feedback and should you need further assistance, do let us know, we are here to help.
youe 3 / 3 1  
May 3, 2016   #3
Hi Yoki!

After I read that I think you did a good job on this article.
There are few suggestions about the last paragraph, you can take a look and take the advice into account if you want.
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To sum up, expanding the library is the most appropriate change for my university. Only via this can students enjoy more spaces to study, only via this can students access more resources, and only via this can valuable resources be protected more efficiently.

The ideas in this paragraph are great, but maybe you could try to write in a different sentence structure and try to use some connection words, transition..etc, writing article in this way enables it to look more elaborate.

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I hope this advice will be useful for you!


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