Writing Task 1 The changes in the art gallery ground floor in 2015 and present day

The art gallery in 2015 and now

The maps below show the changes in the art gallery ground floor in 2015 and present day

The maps illustrate numerous variations taking place in the art gallery ground floor from 2015 to present day.
It is noticeable from the picture that art gallery has changed considerably and a number of new features can be seen in the second diagram. Significantly, there was a drastic change of the western half of the floor.

Looking at the illustrations in more details, we can see that situated to the southwest and next to entrance, ramp for wheel chair was constructed in order to enable every person to contemplate galleries. Get through the door, in the middle of Enter Hall, there was receptionist which was relocated from top - left corner. In the East, three exhibition room 1, 2, 3 witness no change.

On the contrary, lying in the west, exhibition room 4 was divided into two part: temporary exhibition and children's area. Gallery office which was to the north of the exhibition room 4 was demolished and replaced by vending machine. Similarly, gallery shop which in the north-western area was erected at the position where the café used to be. However shop is smaller than the café with the purpose of making way for stairs. There was the emergence of lift which was on the right-hand side of the stairs, which gave people easy and convenient access to the floor.

(220 words)

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When you write the Task 1 essay, always consider the audience that you are writing for. Since you are writing this report for a professional, you have to avoid using inflammatory and misleading words in your essay. Using the words like demolished and drastic, when the more appropriate words to use are replaced and significant, respectively, means that you are not familiar with academic writing and logical information presentation. This will affect your LR and GRA score as you are expected to use academic and professionally descriptive tones at all times.

You should not be making assumptions in the essay. Providing reasons for the wheelchair ramp and the lift show that you are making personal observations in the report. These personal observations have no place in the formal data presentation because you are not being asked to offer an opinion or explanation for the images. You are to only report on it. Sure you can be creative, just avoid delivering an opinion while you are at it.

Don't forget to use a comma after an introductory element like "however", which you used as the starting word of a sentence.

Save for the misuse of vocabulary, your essay is pretty much on point. You deliver the required information and compare sections when possible. That shows that you took time to analyze the images presented. However, the errors you made in terms of the final copy of your essay tells me that you did not utilize any left over time you had to perfect the presentation. Always double check the scoring requirements. Make sure you have done your best to score as well as you in every section.

we can see the art
a drastic change of -> in
in more details
the entrance
wheel chair or wheelchair is correct!
Entering Hall
the top
rooms
parts
R]the[/R] Gallery
vending -> the vending or a vending
Howerver,
s the shop
with the purpose of making -> to make