Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

The changes in the emission of carbon in four countries in the period from 1967 to 2007


leerose111 2 / 4  
Jul 9, 2020   #1

IELTS 1 - co2 emissions



TOPIC: THE GRAPH BELOW SHOWS AVERAGE CARBON DIOXIDE (CO2) EMISSIONS PER PERSON IN THE UNITED KINDOM, SWEDEN, ITALY AND PORTUGAL BETWEEN 1967 AND 2007.

The line graph illustrates the changes in the emission of carbon in four countries in the period from 1967 to 2007.

Although the emissions of CO2 in the United Kingdom were the highest among the four countries, the figure saw a slight decrease from 1967 to 2007, while those in Sweden reached a peak at over 10 tonnes per person in 1977 and then fell markedly to about 7 tonnes in 1987 before going down to less than 6 tonnes in 2007.

With regard to the other two countries, the carbon dioxide emissions trend in Italy and Portugal were similar. The figure in Italy rose from above 4 tonnes in 1967 to under 8 tonnes in 2007, while that in Portugal started at only about 1 tonnes to nearly 5 tonnes in the final year, which was at the same level as that in Sweden.

Overall, it can be seen that the carbon dioxide emissions in the United Kingdom and Sweden declined eventually, while those in Italy and Portugal were on the rise.
ravatrav 3 / 8 4  
Jul 9, 2020   #2
Hi, there :)
I think it's better to put your overview into your intro paragraph. That way, you can have more than one sentence in a paragraph. Also be careful on run-on sentences. Getting some practice in using punctuation wouldn't hurt :) For example in your first body paragraph, you only have a sentence there for a paragraph. Some people will need more effort to understand a really long sentence. Instead of a comma, I think a period can be used after "...the four countries,..." so it can be rewritten into "...were the highest among the four countries. The figure saw...".

I do have such problem myself but I hope this still helps. Oh, perhaps you should attach the figure that you wrote the report for next time. That way people can point out things that you missed (if any) or any other improvement you can make. Cheers :)


Home / Writing Feedback / The changes in the emission of carbon in four countries in the period from 1967 to 2007