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IELTS Task 1: Changes in one city spending patterns in 1966.


BOMAT_IRA 29 / 40  
Apr 11, 2014   #1
The graphs show changes in one city spending patterns in 1966 (a) and 1966 (b) for seven things.

Generally, the city has been the highest spending that caused by food in a graph (a) and by cars in a graph (b). Even though, the lowest spending factor in a graph (a) was by computers and in a graph (b) was by books.

To begin with, food and cars were the highest spending in both of them. Food has number 44% of spending in 1996 (a), but declined dramatically until 14% in 1996 (b). However, spending on cars, it was rose sharply, from 23% until 45%.

Moreover, some areas to show an upward trend, and others to show a downward trend, in 1966 (a) to 1966 (b). Spending on eating in outdoor had increase from 7% until 14%. For computers, it was increasing of 1% to 10%. All the same, spending on books to undergo a decline, from 6% to be 1%.

OP BOMAT_IRA 29 / 40  
Apr 11, 2014   #2
There are the graphs.
Left >> (a)
Right >> (b)





niesaysi 16 / 284 83  
Apr 11, 2014   #3
To begin with, food and cars were the highest spending in both of them.

To begin with, both graphs show that food and cars were the highest spending among all.

Even thoughOn the other hand , the lowest spending factor in a graph (a) was by computers and in a graph (b) was by books.

Food has number 44% of spending in 1996 (a), but declined dramatically until 14% in 1996 (b).

In the first illustration, food reached 44% of spending in 1996 but in the second one, it declined dramatically until 14% in the same year.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,204 469  
Apr 11, 2014   #4
To begin with,

This phrase is mostly used in writing task 2/ spoken language, not suitable use in report writing.
Suggestion: omit or rewrite

from 23% until 45%.

From ... to

from 6% to be 1%

some areas to show an upward trend

subject-verb agreements

here is a link that brings you more closer to good samples for writing task 1:
ielts.org/test_takers_information/test_sample/academic_writing_sa mple.aspx
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Apr 12, 2014   #5
To begin with, food and cars were the highest spending in both of them. Food has number 44% of spending in 1996 (a), but declined dramatically until 14% in 1996 (b). However, spending on cars, it was rose sharply, from 23% until 45%.

Don't have (a)s and (b)s. Present everything in a flow and adopt a reporting tone for your writing. You should avoid phrases like "To begin with". This task is aimed at assessing your report writing skills and therefore your style should be more formal and you need to present facts in a logical and concise manner.

Follow dum's suggested approach to re-do this task. Once you finish post it here for us to give you more feedbacks :)
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Apr 12, 2014   #6
Don't have (a)s and (b)s

I am with Pahan. As far as I know this is rarely occurred in the reporting essay.

some areas to show an upward trend, and others to show a downward trend, in 1966 (a) to 1966 (b) this is UN-needed to write this twice, while both graph note same year

Spending on eating in outdoor had increase from 7% until 14%. For computers, it was increasing of 1% to 10%. All the same, spending on books to undergo a decline, from 6% to be 1%.

....let me try., Different movement occurred at the several trend. While the proportion of citizen spending on outdoor eating and playing computer rose sharply, inhabitants expenditure for buying books declined one-fifth percent than that of recent measurement.
ernhy 17 / 28  
Apr 12, 2014   #7
Spending on eating in outdoor had increase from 7% until 14%.
upinipin 32 / 49 1  
Apr 12, 2014   #8
had increase

you must change your that word
see had + V3


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