uyen1092 1 / 1 Oct 20, 2019 #1Hi everyone, this is the first time I have ever written my answer for IELTS Writing Task 1. I hope everyone would comment and give feedbacks for me! Please tell me what I need to improve! Many thanks!!the proportion of vehicle registrationThe graph below shows changes in the share of vehicle registrations of the three most common types of commercial vehicles in the US between 1970 and 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.The graph is here: drive.google.com/file/d/11BG_FD37OOwXuzN0vOpMpOAJF9_2DFU1/view?usp=drivesdkAnd this is my answer:The graph shows the proportion of vehicle registration of the three most common types of commercial vehicles in the US in the period of 1970 to 2010.It is clear that the graph shows significant changes of the proportion during each stage.In the first stage, from 1970 to 1980, the growth of taxi had increasing rapidly from about 22% to 36%, while the growth of bus also increased significantly by 9%. However, the registration of truck had a big degradation from 49% down to 30%.Unlike in the first stage, the proportion of truck in the second stage (between 1980 and 2000)rose to 45%, while the proportion of bus fell by 12%. After a big degradation between 1980 and 2000, the proportion of taxi rose rapidly to 45%.
k_dsgrad_2020 - / 2 1 Oct 22, 2019 #2Hi @uyen1092,It might be helpful to outline the vehicle types in the first sentence (namely taxi, bus & truck) - it lends additional information in the same sentence as to what the three most common commercial vehicle types are, and prepares the reader for the comparisons that will follow.One useful comparison you could have made was the similarity in proportion changes for bus and taxi - they follow a similar curve from 1970 to 2000, beyond which the proportion for bus declines and that of taxi increases sharply.Hope this was useful!
