The changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School (IELTS TASK 1)

The map illustrates the transformations that have occurred in the West Park Secondary over 60-year period. The most noticeable changes were the replacement of residential and farmland area with establishment of Car park. However, the development of Car park was larger year-by-year.

To begin, there were several major alteration of the West Park between 1950 and 1980. In 1980, the housing which was opposite the main road had been replaced by car park and science block while there was farmland in the south west Park secondary which had been eliminated by sport field located beside playground.

Turning to 2010, the area of old sport field was relocated to a smaller new one, which took one in three part of playground. Nonetheless, the field of car park was threefold greater than the previous year, and main building of school remained stable over the following year.

Interestingly, although there were tremendous changes happened in the Park, the main road and the school remained unchanged.

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However , the development of Car park was larger year-by-year. : you use "however" when the following statement contrast with the prior. I think you should use "interestingly" instead.

the housing which was opposite the main road had been replaced by car park and science block while there was farmland in the south west: i think opposite is improper word unless there is a building in the other side of main road that you've mentioned before

You have to be consistent with your grouping. I think your last sentence belongs to the second body.

That's all from me, i hope it is helpful :)

Hi miss Nisa, I have read your good writing, let me give my opinion about your writing :)

The map illustrates the transformations that have occurred in the West Park Secondary School(don't forget to write important information such as your writing explain about the changing of school area) over 60-year period.

. . . while there was farmland in the south west Park of secondary school which had been eliminatedreplaced/changed(the word "eliminate" is used to take something away because it is dirty, annoying or making problem) by sport field located beside playground.

I hope it will help you, thank you