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The characteristics we are born with or the experiences we have in our life.


Sinny073 1 / 1  
Feb 3, 2013   #1
Help me to find my errors and problems ^^ thanks so much

Topic: Research indicate that the characteristic we are born with have more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to the major influence?

The debate surrouding the topic of origin of character in each individuals is the main cause of concerns among many people. Some people argue that the personality of a person is instinctive while the others are totally against this idea. This issue will be brought into the considerations in this essay.

To begin with, it can not be denied that some senses of a person are built up and existed since he was born. Due to the researchs for years, scientists and astrologers have provided a demonstration of the influence of genes and horoscopes on the characters of people, which distinguish them from the others. Basing on the particular genealogy or horoscope of a person, it is predictable or understanding a part of personality of him. For example, a girl who was born at the beginning of September is a "Virgo", thus, she might be a cautious one and perfectionist.

Although this view might be valid, there are still many concerning issues regarding this opinion. Those people who disagree point out that the experiences people gain is a major cause of how their personality are. First and foremost, it is clearly believed that the environment surrounding the child plays an important role on the way he grows up, such as living condition, the community arrounding or the education of parents. The interact between the child and the society especially his parents has a deep effect on his development. Moreover, it is obvious that some parts of individual only can exist when he has to suffer from specific cases in his life. This, can lead to the development of new senses which are not inheritated or studied from his family.

Overall, i can work out/conclude that both of experiences and the instinctive characteristics have significant power effects on the personality of individual. However, i believe in the powerful effect of life experiences more than the particular genes or horoscopes.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Feb 3, 2013   #2
The debate surrouding the topic of origin of character in each individuals

... I feel you should present this in a more interesting and simpler tone;
Some people argue that the personality of an individual is more influenced by his or her born characteristics. However the others believe it is the experience which is more instrumental in shaping one's personality.

some senses of a person

... I feel "senses" is an inappropriate usage here....It should be "characteristics"

To begin with, it can not be denied that some senses of a person are built up and existed since he was born.

First, it is undeniable that a person is born with certain personality traits.

Due to the researchs for years, scientists and astrologers have provided a demonstration of the influence of genes and horoscopes on the characters of people, which distinguish them from the others.

... In my opinion, I feel you should treat scientists and astrologers separately since they are two different disciplines.

BasingBased on the particular genealogy

... it should be "based on"
OP Sinny073 1 / 1  
Feb 4, 2013   #3
Thank u very much ^^ xoxo


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