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Charge for admission in museum? Evaluate this policy - IELTS

vhlinh96 2 / 2  
Mar 29, 2018   #1
I am going to have a test on 14/4 so I really need your help. Thanks in advance!

IELTS Writing Task 2: "Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?"

Here is my essay for the above topic:

Entrance tickets into museums

Today, there is a difference in regulation of several museums. To be more specific, some museums ask visitors to pay for entrance fee while others do not. In my opinion, although this practice has mixed blessing, I firmly believe that the benefits would prevail over the drawbacks.

On the one hand, charging for admission seems to exert negative effect since this policy somehow deters some citizens from entering the museums. More specifically, those groups of residents such as the poor, students are likely to purchase for their basic needs, for instance, foods and drinks, rather than spending on museums' entrance tickets. As a result, the number of public visiting the museums may decline gradually after the implementation of the policy.

One the other hand, I strongly support the idea that admission fee's advantages will outweigh its disadvantages. The reason for believing this is that this regulation is of incredible help in raising financial funds which can be allocated for a wide range of operational purposes, for example, purchasing for well-known artworks or paintings which are extremely expensive, maintaining good condition of current exhibition. It is also possible to say that this amount of money is supposed to be a source for salary payment, which encourages employees to work more efficiently. In fact, basic salary scales of museums' workers do not meet their basic needs on a daily basis, so if they were paid better as they, they would dedicate more to their works. All things considered, the museums can run smoothly, be well upgraded and then attract a more impressive number of visitors at the present and in the years to come.

In conclusion, although charging for entrance fee still has some downsides, I completely believe that this regulation will be more beneficial.
(293 words)

I am looking forward to receiving your feedbacks!

Best regards,


kikiyiu 5 / 12 2  
Mar 30, 2018   #2
One the other hand but not one the other hand.

No big problem in the article and the words are really academic.
Hope you to get high marks in IELTS!
Holt [Contributor] - / 8,608 2502  
Mar 31, 2018   #3
Vua, this is a single opinion essay as presented by the question "Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?" This clearly indicates a single opinion essay discussion since it does not ask you to "Discuss both points of view and then present a personal opinion." Only when an essay indicates the aforementioned information does it become a dual point of view with personal opinion essay. Therefore, your discussion is inappropriate and will be marked down accordingly. It is important to understand the various methods of discussing the task 2 essay. I suggest you read the samples on the forum so that you can get a clearer idea of the discussion types and how it is supposed to be addressed in the essay discussion. Remember, when you do not discuss the essay in the expected manner, you get a severe TA score deduction which makes it difficult for the remaining scoring criteria to increase your higher score chances.

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