Many charities can society get if government investment money in arts activities

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theater is waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services. Do you agree or disagree?

These days, we always see if government usually invest money in some arts activities, such as music and theater. Some people believe if those things are wasting of government's money. Some other people, include me is disagree with those things. I think many advantages for society if government invest money in arts activities, such as for culture education.

From the one side, as we know that arts are very connecting with culture education. Many performances in arts that government always makes for society are culture theme, such as Jakarta Fair in Jakarta. Government of Jakarta always makes activities seems like that because they want to keep their own culture and remain that for their next generation. Besides that, people who come from many regionals in Indonesia are also can learn about Jakarta's culture as known as Betawi and they are very enjoy it. I think it has many charities for society.

However, from the other side, some people believe if government investment money in arts is waste of money and prefer to invest that money to public services. But I think invest in public services, such as for high way or traffic lamp are also waste of money if the society can protect them. Many people in our country always break the public services if they have conflict with the government.

To sum up, I disagree with that statement. Many charities can society get if government investment money in arts activities. People can perpetuate their culture and give it to their generation as heritages. And I think it is the best investment for government for their society.

when you put 'if' you should put a complete sentence after that, it will show the effect of 'if-clause'

also, pay more attentions to the punctuation

Thank you mizu
Are my mistakes just that?
Do I out of topic?

This sentence is very confusing. You need to rephrase this line to deliver your idea clearly to the reader.


..."if" is not the appropriate word to use for this idea;
Some people believe that such investing money on such purposes is a waste of government funds.

Overall, to me your have a rich range of idea. Don't worry about many mistakes that you made. Your writing will be better soon as far as your perfect practices. Ups, another simple suggestion from a beginner learner, be diligent enough to open your dictionary. Beside do writing and do reading, opening the dictionary also very helpful.

Lastly, welcome to essay forum :DD