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[IELTS] Writing Task 1: The chart illustrates consumption of three kinds of fast food by teenagers


Kiu1007 3 / 5  
Aug 3, 2021   #1

fast food consumption chart



TOPIC:
The chart illustrates the consumption of three kinds of fast food by teenagers in Mauritius from 1985 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.


MY ANSWER:

The line graph depics three types of fast food which includes hamburgers, pizza and fried chicken consumed by Mauritius teenagers between 1985 to 2015.

Overall, the quantity of teenagers having hamburgers and fried chicken per year showed a significant rise over the period, while the number of pizza eaten experienced a downward trend.

In 1985, teenagers ate hamburgers and Fried chicken approximately 10 and 5 times per year respectively. After an initial increase until 1995, the number of fried chicken eaten increased sharply from 20 to 40 times per year within a decade, exceeding the number of pizza and hamburgers in 2000 and remains steadily after 2005.With a similar trend, the consumption of hamburger increased steadily and reached 70 times per year in 2015. Marked as the most popular fast food.

In contrast, teenagers consumed pizza 60 times per year in 1985. It decreased rapidly throughout the period and end at 10 times per year. The number of pizza eaten was the highest among these three fast food and it ended as the lowest in 2015. It was out traced by both hamburger and Fried Chicken in 2000.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Aug 12, 2021   #2
The summary is incorrect. It does not refer to the correct topic, proper nationality reference for people from Mauritius, nor indicate the correct measurement type. It is not a paragraph but a score reducing run- on presentation. It will force a low starting TA score for the report.

The paragraph presentations need to have a uniform length and avoid incidental run-on presentations. The word usage is acceptable but the student shows a severe focus on that scoring section alone. The word usage is forced and unnatural because of this incorrect effort on the port of the student. A balance must be found between academic and everyday ward usage.

The tending presentation is referred to only once. The writer tends to create a number of these throughout the presentation.


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