Unanswered [29] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


IELTS TASK 1: (Chart) Information about global population and distribution of Wealth


Diandin16 9 / 10  
Apr 8, 2016   #1
The chart below gives information about global population percentages and distribution of wealth by region.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The chart gives information about comparison between international population number in various countries of the world with the distribution of affluence in these same regions. It can be seen that population shares in almost all cases do not relate to the distribution of wealth.

North America has only approximately 6% of the world's population, it increase nearly 34% of global wealth. A similar situation in Europe, which has 15% of the global population but 30% of global wealth, and the Rich Asia-Pacific countries with 5% of the world's population but 24% of its affluence.

In additional, the total wealth of people in China, India, Africa, Latin America and Caribbean, and the other countries in Asia-Pacific is far less than distribution of the world population. It is surprisingly in India, where 16% of the world's population own only 1% of the world's wealth. Then, in China which has the highest percentage of global population by 24% but only 3% of the world's wealth.



bastian20 10 / 16 2  
Apr 9, 2016   #2
Hello Dian, you wrote this writing well-organize. I personally think that you have included all of the main features of this bar chart. It is extremely crucial part of IELTS writing assessment. On the other hand, in order to increase you score, you not only answer the task response, but also you should variate your sentences. I believe, if you do this, your band will accomplish high score. In addition, you also can use fraction, qualifier, proportion to variate your word in percentage.

for example, you can alter 1% , or 34% , 30% and, 15%

1%

by 'a very small number'

16%

by less than a fifth.

30%

by less than a third

34%

by more than a third

I hope my suggestion will support you in order to increase your score. Good Luck and I am waiting for your next writing. Thank you.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: (Chart) Information about global population and distribution of Wealth
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳