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IELTS - 'the chart also predicts the proportions in 2040' - quantity of the population aged 65


Hiruni 3 / 14 3  
Jul 30, 2014   #1
First of all i would like to say THANK YOU for all the people who gave valuable feedback to my previous essay and for the warm welcome.

To this report I am so grateful if you can rate this from a scale of 1 to 9.

Prompt - The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

The graph illustrates the quantity of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 to the present as well as to the future up to 2040 in three different nations.

It is evident that in 1940 the aged population over 65 was below 10 percent in all three countries while USA depicted the highest value of 9%. After that the proportions of USA and Sweden increased to a peak in 1980, where USA represented 15% while Sweden was also managed to come near to that point. During this period Japan showed a slight draw back, by keeping the same position between three countries.

However the chart also predicts the proportions in 2040 which are contradictory to the past. According to that Japan bears the highest amount over 25% while Sweden and USA are in that order respectively. The transition of Sweden over USA showed before 2000, and it is predicted to be the same till 2040. In contrast Japan shows a slow increase until 2030, when the values starts to rocket to the highest point in 2040.



eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Jul 30, 2014   #2
Make sure you have an overview written after introduction.
Let's give a try;
Overall, the proportion of ageing population from Sweden and USA has risen steadily in ten decades. In any case, this percentage declined slightly in Japan, but will be gradual rebound from 2000 onwards.
OP Hiruni 3 / 14 3  
Jul 31, 2014   #3
Thank you :)
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Aug 8, 2014   #4
Consider about essay's layout. I means put space between paragraph, it comforts reader to read your whole essay.

The graph illustrates the quantity

It is used for describing thing(s) not person
Maybe the example from my dictionary will help you
He had consumed a large quantity of alcohol
The police also found a quantity ofammunition in the flat.

After that the proportions of USA and Sweden increased to a peak in 1980, where USA represented 15% while Sweden was also managed to come near to that point.

Be careful with your observation, I think three of trends depict their peak in 2040 and it predicts will increase in following years.

However the chart also predicts the proportions in 2040 which are contradictory tothe past .

please be specific when the main years you means ?
OP Hiruni 3 / 14 3  
Aug 8, 2014   #5
Thank you SHanafi :)
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Aug 8, 2014   #6
You must write overview paragraph in writing task 1 because overview is important instead of conclusion. In this prompt, there is three countries which is mentioned ; Japan, Sweden and USA. If I were you I will explain USA and Sweden because those countries have the similar pattern. Moreover, I will write detail information of Japan in the second body paragraph.


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