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The chart shows IT components of GDP in the UK from 1992 to 2000

Jerry_Watson 1 / -  
Sep 17, 2020   #1
The bar chart above compares the percentage of IT industry and Service industry which are the constituents of Gross Domestic Product (GDP) of UK from 1992 to 2000.

Overall, it is clearly considered from the chart that IT industry was continuously a component which had more contribution to GDP of UK from 1992 to 2000. Meanwhile, despite being less influential, Service industry experienced a rather stable development.

In the first four years, it is easily seen a small fluctuation of IT industry. The percentage of this field witnessed a stable increase from 6.7% to 8.6% from 1992 to 1994 before hitting a very slight fall by about 0.6% to 8%. Comparison with oscillation of IT industry, Service industry saw a growth steadily to 7% in 1996 even though it is recorded this figure just arrived at 4% in 1992.

To IT industry, the next two years is the time of significant bloom which are worth mentioning. Although the two areas were similar in the terms of increase, IT industry still took the strong impression when reaching the highest point of 15% in 2000. Service industry, at the same time, continued contributing to GDP presented by that the proportion of this group rose gradually from 7.9% to 8.2%.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,411 4391  
Sep 18, 2020   #2
For all intents and purposes, there is no chart above. Identify the chart as merely provided to you. Be specific about the type of chart. In this case, if you want to be specific, it is a vertical, 2 information set bar chart for comparison purposes. The comparison points are the IT industry and service industry. Your summary overview paragraph is incomplete. It is also confusing to read because you tried to compress all of the separate information into 1 long sentence. This run-on does not help your C&C score. Each paragraph should have 3-5 sentences presented for clarity purposes. Never compress the information into a run-on presentation.

The maximum suggested word count for this test is 190 words. More than 200 words and your tendency will be the cut into the task 2 writing time. You should make sure to review your paragraphs for clarity issues. Use simpler words where possible so as not to make the sentence unnecessarily complex (... of this field witnessed (saw) a...) Clarity does not always come from the use of inapplicable advanced words. Usually, a simpler word presentation, within a complex sentence structure scores better.

This being a general report, you should always be certain about the information you are presenting. Do not use words that can present doubt about your interpretation of the information (ex. rather stable) as that indicates an inability on your part to clearly analyze the data presented in the image.
LadyOfClockwork 30 / 102  
Sep 19, 2020   #3
I'm confused with "despite being less influential" in your second paraphrase. Actually, service industry's contribution to the GDP grew, so it should be more influential. Did you want to make a comparison? Then you may want to say "the service industry grew as a percentage of the GDP throughout the period given, albeit at a much slower pace than the IT industry after 1996"

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