Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurant between 2003,2013

just_writer 24 / 42 5  
Oct 21, 2017   #1
The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph compares how often USA citizens eat in fast food restaurants in 2003, 2006 and 2013. It categorizes the results in 6 states; which are Every Day, Several Time a Week, Once a Week, Once or Twice a month, a Few Time a Year, and Never. In this report, we will discuss the findings in more details by presenting the main trends in the graph.

Under 5% of USA people either never ate in fast food restaurant or ate every day, although the numbers are decreasing gradually from 2003 to 2013. 17% of people ate fast food several times a week in 2003, this number increased to 20% in 2006 and rapidly decreased to 16% in in 2013. Just over 30% of people were using fas food at least once a week in 2003, and the figures gradually went up to around 33% in 2006 and significantly went down to 28% in 2013. In addition, in 2003, 30% of citizens ate fast food once or twice a month which had significant decrease to 25% in 2006 and surprisingly grows to 33% in 2013. In the last category, there were 13% of people who ate fast food a few times a year, and this number gradually increased to 15% in 2006 and remained steady till 2013.

It shows that in general, the number of people who ate fast food is decreasing in 3 categories over the mentioned years, except for "Once or Twice a Month" which raised to 33% and "a Few Times a Year" plus "Never" which remained steady.

(229 Words)

One additional question I have is about the number of words that I used. Are they too much? Do I get a deduction in grade if something like this happens in IELTS exam?

sgassani 7 / 22 5  
Oct 21, 2017   #2
Regarding the content of your writing, in the second paragraph, I think you should compare data from a different point of view instead of mentioning it one after another. You should also mention a key figure such as the highest proportion (once a week in 2006 and once or twice a month in 2013).
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,699 3503  
Oct 22, 2017   #3
You should actually aim to write at least 200 words of the 150 minimum for this type of essay. Be cautious though. You must not just keep writing for the sake of writing more words. You must write words that create relevant discussions of the given information. That means writing 250 words of useless gibberish that creates sentences that lack logic and cohesion will not score the same as a 150 word essay that shows a clear discussion flow, control over sentence structure, and grammatical development in a proper manner.

In this essay, you should have also aimed to present 4 paragraphs instead of 2 short and one long paragraph. You can still use the 5 paragraph format here if you want to. Since there are 3 years to be compared, it is understood that you will be writing 3 comparative paragraphs. Now, I would suggest doing the comparison on a year to year basis in order to create a more logical presentation of ideas. However, if you opt to present the information on a grouped, per year basis, that will work too. It may however, come out as confusing for the reader because the trend in development and the comparative discussion will become more difficult to follow.

Home / Writing Feedback / The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurant between 2003,2013