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The chart shows the leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.


Bob brother 15 / 22  
Mar 19, 2014   #1
The bar chart below illustrates the number of leisure hours which are entertained by male and female, according to their employment status.

It can be clearly seen from the figures that in unemployment and
retired categories, both sexes used huge amount of leisure hours in a typical week, whereas, full time employees have spent a little time for spare time activities.

Among those full time workers, male had 50 hours of leisure, while female had just fewer approxlmately 10 hours than men workers. In the second category, there were no given figure for male, but female had 40 hours of leisure, only slightly more than women in full time job category.

In the next two unemployment and retired categories, leisure time
showed striking increase for both sexes. HerŠµ too, men enjoyed more leisure time over 80 hours, compared with 70 hours for women, perhaps women spend more time working in the home than men. Finally, housewives enjoyed about 54 hours, but again there were no figure given for househusbands.




Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Mar 20, 2014   #2
You seem to be following a good structure. However, your body paras should contain more details and statistics.
JasS 10 / 30  
Mar 20, 2014   #3
according to their employment status between 1998 and 1999

It can be clearly seen from the figures

have spent a little time

In the second category, there were no given figure for male, but female had 40 hours of leisure, only slightly more than women in full time job category.

Male employees of part time job had no hours of leisure time, while female empleyees was about 40 hours spare time in a week .

HerŠµ too

I think this phrase informal language

men enjoyed more leisure time over 80 hours

You used the grammar structure in wrong way
enjoyed + a adj + noun

compared withto

perhaps women spend more time working in the home than men

Don't add your own opinion, just write what is given on the graph


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