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(charts) EDUCATION ACHIEVEMENT IN WOMEN IN 1945-1995.


ARIA 16 / 43 1  
Mar 31, 2011   #1
The pie charts compare difference of the education levels of women in Someland between years 1945 and 1995. It is clearly seen that illiterate women who formed more than a third of the women population in 1945 has disappeared in 1995, in stead half of the women population in 1995 had a first degree.

First, in 1945 women with the education level less than 3 years were about 70 % of female population, while 35% of them were illiterate, while only 4% of them finished higher level of education as post graduate and only 1% had their first degree.

In other side in 1995 there are no more women with education level of lower than 6 years, moreover they reached to the place that 50% of them have achieved their first degree, and the percentage of the women with postgraduate degree reached to 20%.

In conclusion, comparison of the pie charts demonstrates that from 1945 to 1995 the illiteracy in Someland' women has totally eradicated and at the end of the period more women in Someland have higher education.

time 24 minutes
word count 179


  • chart 1

  • chart 2

EF_Susan - / 2,365 12  
Apr 3, 2011   #2
I think you did a great job. Let me take this opportunity to teach you how to avoid a run-on sentence:

It is clearly seen that illiterate women who formed more than a third of the women population in 1945 has disappeared in 1995, in stead half of the women population in 1995 had a first degree. ---This is a run on sentence.

It is clearly seen that illiterate women who formed more than a third of the women population in 1945 has disappeared in 1995. Instead, half of the female population in 1995 had a degree.----I made it 2 sentences by adding a period to separate them.

You can also use a conjunction:

It is clearly seen that illiterate women who formed more than a third of the women population in 1945 has disappeared in 1995, and instead half of the female population in 1995 had a degree.---"and" is a conjunction. You can use it to connect 2 complete sentences together.

Add an s:
the illiteracy in Someland's women has totally eradicated and at the end of the period more women in Someland have higher education.----Do you see where I added an s?

Also, instead is one word. It's not "in stead." it's "instead."
OP ARIA 16 / 43 1  
Apr 7, 2011   #3
Thank you susan
I really appreciate. becauase I need such kind of grammar points.


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