Unanswered [15] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

IELTS (Charts); electricity generation by source in New Zealand and Germany


hisho88 4 / 6  
Sep 27, 2013   #1
The pie charts below show electricity generation by source in New Zealand and Germany in 1980 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The pie charts illustrate five different sources to generate electricity from, in New Zealand and Germany in 1980 and 2010.In New Zealand in the year 1980,it is clear that coal was the main source to generate electricity by 56 units from the total of 127 units that were generated.Hydro and natural gas were equal in use by approximately 30 units.Petroleum was the least to be used by 11 units.

In 2010 the use of coal rose from 56 to 150 units and became the main source to get electricity in NewZealand from the total of 214 units.In addition hydro use increased to 46 units.On the other hand natural gas and petroleum became very rare to use by 2 units to each of them.We can see obviously that nuclear energy was not in use to produce electricity in New Zealand in these two years.

In comparison,in Germany in the year 1980 there were two main sources to generate electricity that were coal and natural gas which count 28 for each from the total of 107 units.Petroleum was the next source to be used by 22 units.After that it remains nuclear and hydro use which were the last on the list by 20 and 7 units respectively.

In the year 2010 the nuclear energy went up from 20 to 155 units from the total of 214 units and by that it became the main source to generate electricity from and took approximately 75 % of all the sources to be used.Coal use comes next which stayed at the same level by 28 units.Petroleum had a slight increase by 5 units.Natural gas had a huge decrease from 28 to 2 units and the same is hydro use which decreased from 7 to 2 units and by that they became the least in use.

Overall,it is very clear that each country depended on a different kind of energy to produce electricity.For New Zealand coal was the main source to produce electricity and no nuclear energy was used.For Germany there were two main sources,natural gas and coal but at the end nuclear energy dominated and became the main source to use.






MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Sep 27, 2013   #2
It will be better if you reduce your word count as the prompt asks you to select and report the main features rather than listing every detail. Also, remember that you have another essay to finish within one hour so this task 1 essay should consist of around 180 words.

In New Zealand in the year 1980,it is clear that coal was the main source to generate electricity by with 56 units from the total out of 127 units that were generated .

Petroleum was the least to be used popular source by with 11 units.

We can see obviously that

This part is not necessary.

which count 28 for each

each of which accounted for
You should revise the tense used in this essay. You use present tense to describe the trends in some of your sentences, which is grammatically incorrect. Also, I think that there is another main feature that should be mentioned in the overview paragraph. It is the increase in total units in both countries from 1980 to 2010.

I hope this helps!
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Oct 1, 2013   #3
I see that you can write well. However, I feel you need to improve on the structure. This is what I suggest;
There are three basic things you need to structure an IELTS writing task 1.
1. Introduce the graph (

The pie charts illustrate five different sources to generate electricity from, in New Zealand and Germany in 1980 and 2010

- this is it!)
2. Give an overview ( Discuss the main trends very briefly)
3. Give the detail ( now you can talk about all the details)
OP hisho88 4 / 6  
Oct 1, 2013   #4
Thank you so much...it really helped me


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS (Charts); electricity generation by source in New Zealand and Germany