Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

The charts provides several factors that affected on lower numbers of farm-land productivity


nurainiyusuf16 47 / 83 6  
Oct 30, 2016   #1
The pie chart below shows the main reason why agricultural land becomes less productive. the table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

The charts give information about several factors that affected decreasing of farm-land productivity and the percentage of land degradation which was caused by these factors in North America, Europe, and Oceania during the 1990s. Overall, there were three main reasons that affected land degradation which are over-grazing, illegal-logging, and over-farming. These factors gave the biggest impact to Europe and the fewest was faced by North America.

The pie chart illustrates several reasons behind dropped of agricultural productivity. The biggest percentage is over-gazing by 35 percent. The, deforestation becomes the next reason which made 30 percent of farm and less productive. Over-cultivation in agricultural land also made land degradation increase. There were 28 percent of land degradation caused by this reason.

These three factors effected land degradation in three regions. The biggest impact came to Europe which was 23 percent, which was illegal-logging decreasing until 9.8 percent. The next, Oceania by 13 percent where over-cultivation did not give any impact. The last was North America which only affected on 5 percent of total land.

abangabul93 15 / 27  
Oct 30, 2016   #2
Hello @nurainiysuf16, I got some suggestions for your writing:

... biggest impact to Europe and the fewest was faced by North America. (WHILE THE CONVERSE APPEARED TO BE TRUE IN NORTH AMERICA).

The biggest percentage is (WAS) over-gazing by 35 percent. The, deforestation becomes (BECAME) the next reason (...) of farm and less productive.
There were (WAS) 28 percent of land ...

... which was 23 percent, which was (WITH) illegal-logging decreasing ...
The next, (FOLLOWED BY) Oceania by (AT) 13 percent where ...
RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Nov 2, 2016   #3
INTRODUCTION

*effective and well-developed introductory paragraph
*presents a clear overview of main trends, components, and differences on data


... and the percentage of land degradation which was caused ...
... reasons that affected land degradation which are over-grazing, illegal-logging , and over-farming.

BODY PARAGRAPH

*adequate wide range of vocabulary
*tenses inconsistency/errors
*word formation errors

*presented data in some organisation


The biggest percentage is over-gazing by 35 percent. The, deforestation becomes the next reason (...) of farm and BECAME less productive.

These three factors effected land degradation ...
The biggest impact came to Europe which was 23 percent, which was illegal-logging decreasing ...


Home / Writing Feedback / The charts provides several factors that affected on lower numbers of farm-land productivity