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The charts below show the percentage of "online" time among younger and older people


Tina le 1 / -  
Sep 7, 2019   #1

time spent on internet activities



task 1 :The charts below show the percentage of time younger and older people spend on various Internet activities in their free time (excluding email).
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.


Answer

The charts compare the percentage of time that two age groups accessed to six Internet activities when they had spare time. Overall, it is obvious that youngsters from 18 to 26 years old spend a lot of time on social networks, listening to music and watching movies while the elderly people from 60 to 70 years old prefer researching such as health data, making booking cinema and travel.

A closer look at the chart shows that most the younger people spend their free time on social media and access music and movies with about one in four and one fifth which compared to 21% and 15% of the elderly respectively. Besides, playing games is also significantly popular with younger people with 18 %. It is nearly fourfold the time the older people spent on this activity.

However, the elderly spend their main time searching for movie tickets and travel with 25% which is fivefold the time younger people. Older people tend to spend more time searching like health data than the younger group with 22% and 20% respectively. On the other hand, both age groups spend the same time making purchases that are 12%.


  • anh

Maria [Contributor] - / 727 281  
Sep 11, 2019   #2
@Tina le
Hi, dear! Welcome to the forum. I apologize for the delay. However, I hope that this feedback serves you well in the future.

First and foremost, I suggest trying to shorten the length of your sentences. What you have been doing primarily is simply inputting a lot of complex details without necessarily showcasing any prioritization in the process. Because of this, readers are going to struggle a little bit more when it comes to furthering what they know about the topic. When you're making analytical essays, this part is essentially critical because it will add clarity to your essay.

Having said that, the last paragraph needs a bit of work. Remember that the last portion is supposedly dedicated as a concluding paragraph, making it critical that the analysis here would encompass the entirety of the text.

Be cautious as well of small details (ie. punctuation marks, etc.).


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