IELTS Task 1: The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas

WATER USAGE diagram

The chart below shows the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram displays the percentage of water usage for several objectives in some regions of the world. Overall, the chart is separated into three usages such as industrial use with white color, agricultural use with white color and fill with the line, and domestic use with black color. Most developed countries utilize water for industrial areas. Meanwhile, developing countries use water in farming areas.

Based on the data, I will divide the percentage of water used into three groups. First, the group consists of South America, Central Asia, and Africa, which use water by ranking for farming, domestic, and industrial areas. North America and Europe are in the second group. These two regions used water majority for industrial needs (48% and 53%), agricultural needs (39% and 32%), and only a few percent (13% and 15%) for domestic use. The last group is South East Asia, with 81% spent water for agricultural fields, 12% on industrial, and the last 7% on domestic.

(161 words)

Please help me to evaluate my writing skills, read and comment if it's possible, and please also give a score. Thank you in advance.

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It would help you improve your Task 1 writing style if you refer to other examples with regards how to write it and how to better identify the images presented. Your essay is a non passing one at this point because it does not meet the writing requirements of the task. I guess you are self studying which is why you made these accidental errors in your writing.

For starters, you need to identify the image provided in a single descriptive word. You were not provided with a diagram, but you were provided with a chart. But what kind of chart? The correct identifier is a pie chart. You need not over describe the image provided. Do not mention how the information is divided but give the type of information division instead. Remember to indicate the measurement used next time.

A task 1 essay is always composed of 3-4 paragraphs. 3 paragraphs for one image, 4 paragraphs for more than 2 images. So you already get a failing score for the presentation format and expected response format. You should not describe what you are going to do, just do it. This is a report paper, not an opinion paper. Do not integrate task 2 writing requirements in a task 1 essay. These are 2 different formats and require different information presentation styles.

You did your best to present a proper task 1 essay. The problem, is that your idea of how it should be formatted and presented is different from the actual scoring requirement. The presentation is nothing but a disorganized outline of your thoughts, it is not a proper report presentation. Next time, outline your ideas based on the image grouping and then write the draft. That way you get a better idea of what you want to say and how you should say it.

There are ample examples of task 1 essays at this forum that you can learn from. I suggest you read the previous practice essays for this topic as listed in the Similar Discussions section under this post. You are sure to gain useful knowledge from it.

@Holt thank you for your advice, I will try to read more and do better next time.