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IELTS TASK 1- The charts below show reasons for travel and the main issues for the travelling public

haiilinhh7396 1 / -  
Apr 6, 2018   #1

why US citizens wanted to travel in 2009?

The bar and pie chart illustrate information about why US citizens wanted to travel and what travel problems they experiences in the year 2009.
It is noticeable that commuting to and from work was stood at the first position in the reasons that Americans travelled in 2009. In the same year, the primary concern on travelling public of them was cost of travelling.

Looking at the bar chart in more detail, we can see that in 2009, 49% of the trips made by US residents were for the purpose of commuting, followed by other personal reasons with 19% and 16% for shopping. By contrast, the proportion of the reasons for Americans had trips were social/creation and visit friends/relatives with under 11% in the same year.

In terms of the pie chart, it is clear to see that in 2009, people in US had the key consideration for the travelling cost with 36%. Besides,safety concerns and agressive drivers stood at the second position with the percentage nearly one in five of the whole main issues, which were as half as in the first ranking. Finally, a total of 14% of those surveyed thought that access to public transportation and space for pedestrians were the most important travel issues.

Minh Thi 3 / 6 1  
Apr 8, 2018   #2
apart from the fact that the phrase' It is clear to see that' should be change to ' It can be seen clearly that', I think the rest of your essay is good because it compared the information well and uses various vocabulary
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,857 4179  
Apr 11, 2018   #3
Hai, the only problem that exists in this otherwise well developed essay is the sentence structuring. You have a tendency to use long sentences as well as run on sentences in your paragraphs. This limits your ability to properly create simple and complex sentences. It would be best if you avoided using long sentences and instead, present each idea as a stand alone sentence idea in an interconnected paragraph. By presenting stand alone sentences in the paragraph, you will manage to create the necessary presentation requirements to improve your GRA score.

You have shown a good analytical ability. The work you did in presenting the straightforward elements of the essay is admirable. However, the presentation lacks a more analytical presentation to it. Perhaps, in the future, you can do a comparison of the information from the chart in graph to related information in the chart? Yes, I believe that will show that you did a deeper analysis and comparison assessment of the chart before you wrote the report summary. This will result in an increase in your TA and C&8C scoring considerations.

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