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CHECKING INTRODUCTION PART OF IELTS WRITING TASK 2


fikni05 3 / 3  
Aug 25, 2016   #1
Hi guys, please help me checking my introduction part of my ielts writing task 2. The bold one is the following topics

1. As global trade increases, many goods, including those we use on a daily basis, are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distances. Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

Trading increase make many product including the daily needs are important from other countries which needs time for shipping it. I would claim the disadvantage of this issue is more serious than the benefits which be explained in the following paragraph.

2. In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while other consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

Hire children as a paid worker is unaccepted in many nations. This issue is still debating since it looks as a wrong act by some people while the others see it as valuable experience for children. There must be its own reason which following both of perspective. In my opinion, hire adults is better solution.

3. Unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children). To what extend do you agree and disagree?

High school program hold an importance role to developing student character. Adding non-profit organization service such as take a part of charity, improving the neighborhood or become a teacher sport for younger children in the academic curriculum or become extracurricular will teach student good value of life.
Heru22 5 / 7 1  
Aug 25, 2016   #2
hi, i am heru, i will try to give some feedback for your essay.

1. Trading increase make (because the subject is singular so you have to put s in your verb which following your subject )many product products (you have to put "s" after many) including the daily needs ...

2. it will be better that you could put some reason which could be your point in your body


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