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IELTS: The chief factor of someone to prosper is the goal of that person; talent isn't a must


hsamadii 3 / 6 1  
Oct 1, 2014   #1
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be tough to become a good sports person or musician.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


It has become a general belief that some people are born with certain talent, like sports or music, and others are not. On the contrary, others think that any child can be taught to become a rewarding athlete or musician. This essay will discus both these views.

There is a belief among some group of society that some people born with talent. It can be true, but having talent has just a little role on making someone athlete or musician. It is important to work on pupils and help them discover their hidden talents and after finding them out, they have to work hard on that. With talent you can precede one year's experience in one month.

On the other hand, some believe that talent is not important and with appropriate teaching everyone can be a successful athlete or musician. It is correct that almost everybody can learn everything with suitable teaching. But, the key fact is, can that person be as successful as the person with talent? The person with talent can be prosperous in the first years but, for one without talent can take more than few years.

As conclusion, some born with talent and some don't. The chief factor of someone becoming prosper is the goal of that person. I believe everyone can do everything with optimal motivation and it is not important that he/she has the talent or not. For someone can take one year but for other can take years. But at the end, both can be successful.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Oct 1, 2014   #2
It has become a general belief that some people are born with certain talent...

- Your introduction is good in the sense that it gives a restated prompt. It also gives an overview of what to expect in the discussion. However,it fails when it comes to the part about addressing your personal opinion as the thesis statement. You neglected to present your point of view as a part of the discussion. That is one of the most important aspects of the essay that you should not have neglected. So state your opinion on the topic before you launch into your opinion discussion.

There is a belief among some group of society that some people ...

- This is a very weak argument that does not offer any supporting evidence in terms of people born with talent. A look into the history of music, making mention of Mozart, or Beethoven, would have easily supported this point since they were child protegees. For sports, you can mention Tiger Woods among the many notable names of sports figures born with talent. Your job at the end of this paragraph would have been to oppose the argument that people are born with talent. This will lead into the next paragraph that discusses how people are not born with talent but they develop their abilities instead.

On the other hand, some believe that talent is not important and with ...

- Your opposing argument is wrong. You need to discuss the facts behind the belief that children can be taught sports and music which in the process, allows them to develop their talent. That is the requirement of the prompt.

As conclusion, some born with talent and some don't. The chief factor of ...

- You cannot conclude the essay yet. You have not presented your opinion and discussed it yet. You can only conclude this essay after you present your point of view. That said, you know that the conclusion does not allow you present new ideas at the end of the essay. So simply restate the thesis, summarize the facts, and repeat your opinion in a separate concluding paragraph.


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