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Child Abuse and my Future; How I learned to become a man!


Ivykid96 2 / 6  
Aug 4, 2013   #1
Hello guys, i'm writing an essay reflecting my childhood and how it shaped me to this juncture of time, but im stuck on my conclusion. I dont know what to write and if you can please offer me some ideas and criticisms ( be as harsh as possible ) I would really appreciate it and wouldn't mind editing your essay for as well.

That is the essay topic. Im having trouble answering the last part, how it shaped my thinking. please feel free to go as harsh as possible. Edit words out, change wordings/ideas. Any comment will be helpful and Thanks!!! :D

I was 5 years old, and held the phone in my hand. The only number my mother ever taught me to dial was 9-1-1, and after witnessing her on the floor with marks all over her body, I did as she taught me, 911 was dialed. The only memory of that dreadful night was of my father walking away hand cuffed not knowing that I would never see him again.

I didn't really understand the impact that my actions would have on me at that juncture of my life, but as I grew older, responsibilities piled up. I made the call that locked up my father, and now I had to accept the responsibility of my actions- I had to become the man of the house. I didn't really know man was, or how to become one; most boys have a father to guide them in their decisions; I had none of that. At the age of eleven, I walked in on my mother crying, with a list of things she needed to do everyday but couldn't find the time to do them while working three jobs. I knew I had to step up and play my part, " at least give me small things to do ma! " I begged. My mother felt comfort in those words, and my responsibilities from that day on changed.

I wasn't taught on how to do most of my responsibilities, trial and error became a great buddy of mine. Cleaning around the house for the first time, I misused bleach in the wrong areas, but learned on which sprays are applied on exact objects. When damages were found around the house, I had to tackle them with the hands of a repairman but the mind of child. I became the muscle of the house, bringing groceries from the store to my home. My grades for school had to be at the top, mother had no money for a tutor and no time for teacher phone calls. I learned how to ride a bike after countless amounts of injuries and how to shave after painful cuts on my face, there was no room for complaining, I ran a trial, and fixed the error until everything ran smoothly. At the age of fourteen while my friends rode bikes and hung out in the summer, I was outside handing out fliers as my job to gather up extra money for the family. I learned at an early age that life is difficult, but only if you let it beat you down.

Although most of my responsibilities were of physical application, my personality and mindset became molded through my actions. I made myself a man by making my own decisions, Life is a choice, we can be stuck on the past or use it to propel ourselves forward. Watching my mother raise two kids on her own I learned to sacrifice being a kid for becoming a man. I learned that when people depend on you, you must deliver; there is no giving up. With trial and error I learned how to adapt to my situations by persistence. Reflecting on my actions as a child, I realized that everything happens deliberately. The actions we take make us who we are in the long run, and I could not be more proud of whom I am today- a man, not in everyone's eyes, but in my own.

That is esssay 1 ^^^ and essay 2 is :

I was 5 years old, and held the phone in my hand. The only number my mother ever taught me to dial was 9-1-1, and after witnessing her on the floor with marks all over her body, I did as she taught me, 911 was dialed. The only memory of that dreadful night was of my father walking away hand cuffed not knowing that I would never see him again.

Growing up without a clue who my father was as a person, my mother would tell me stories to fill me in. He once stole a car and ended up spending his life savings indulging in drugs- my mother was insinuating that I shouldn't yield into these actions. Without realization as I grew older and made friends during my freshman year, I was becoming the spitting image of my father; I began to steal small things like clothes and money, and began disrespecting my teachers at school. I didn't know where these actions grew from exactly, but without a father figure to guide me, I ended up following the wrong path with the wrong crowd. My mother would lecture me almost everyday telling me I need to stop behaving how I was; I was becoming the greatest thing she feared: a malicious shadow of a recurring mistake. I never gave thought to her words, she was just a Russian immigrant, thus I dubbed them off dismissively.

It was the first day of sophomore year and I walked into Global history class with a quote written on the whiteboard. I high fived my friends and sat down in my seat. The bell rang and the teacher slammed the door, and pointed at me, "you, Mr Gulkarov, read the whiteboard." I read it as I was told, and she replied " yes correct, if you want to be a millionaire you hang out with millionaires, you learn from them ".It was just a quote, but it seemed like a universal principal, a key procedure in an experiment that if followed would yield results. A light in my head was galvanized: as a kid, I called the police to prevent my mother from getting hurt, but here I was hurting her, not physically but emotionally. It was either my friends or my mother who invested her life into raising me correctly- I knew change was a must. It was hard to break off my old friends, but it was high school, a new environment, and a place of change. I began breaking off old habits and surrounding myself with friends that bettered me. I learned that a man is defined by his own decisions, creating his own characteristics and fate, and not by the past that's dwelling behind him. Life is a choice, we can be stuck on the past or use it to propel ourselves forward. Watching my mother raise two kids on her own I learned to sacrifice being a kid for becoming a man. My teachers taught me the importance of persistence, life may knock you down but you must be willing to bounce right back up as if you were on a trampoline. In retrospect looking at my actions as a child, I realized that everything happens on purpose. The actions we take make us who we are in the long run, and I could not be more proud of whom I am today- a man, not in everyone's eyes, but in my own.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 16, 2013   #2
I was 5 years old, and held the phone in my hand.

I was then five years old; I dialed the number 9-1-1, the only number my mom has taught me to dial in emergency, while she was weeping on the floor with scars on her arms and neck.

The last thing I remember that night is my father walking away with cuffs on his hands, who knew that would be the last time I'd see him for 10 years.

My last memory of that dreadful night was that my father walked away hand cuffed knowing that he would not see me for the next ten years.

I didn't know the impact of what I did until I grew older and realized that it was my hands that did the deed that locked my father up

I did not have any idea that this action of mine would lock my father in a cell for so long.
OP Ivykid96 2 / 6  
Aug 16, 2013   #3
I was then five years old;

Is that grammatically correct? to say I was then five years old? Also it would be a great honor, seeing you edit this essay ( my first essay ) if you can, Dumi, edit my newly revised version. Its a new thread. Thanks again for your effort of editing, I like the way you word things.
tarbiat 3 / 6  
Aug 16, 2013   #4
Ivykid96
II was then five years old ...
when I was five years old ...
fahadbd 25 / 56 5  
Aug 17, 2013   #5
I looked myself before the mirror and vowed I will be the greatest man. I can be, just for thebut only fact that if I ever see my father, he'll realize that his son became a greater man than he will ever be.
iampomah - / 2  
Aug 18, 2013   #6
1) all I remembered hearing = all I remember hearing (you still remember it don't you?)
2) not knowing that = oblivious to the fact that
3) and realized that it were my hands that = when I realized that my hands had locked my father away

I'm tired so I will continue later. It's 1am in my country.
P.s Love the topic but I can't really feel the passion in it.
OP Ivykid96 2 / 6  
Aug 19, 2013   #7
Red: Really appreciate the effort, especially at what time it is!

Blue: I really try to put passion, but it hurts to write about it. I don't know what to write cause I have so many things to talk about. This is my 13th edit of the essay haha.


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