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( IELTS essay) Child-care courses, best way to up date childcare?


joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Jan 28, 2013   #1
These days Parents are more concerned with their children's' up-bringing than before. Taking care of the children seems necessary. Child-care training course for parents can be the best way to update them with this matter. To what extent, do you agree or disagree with it? Give your opinion and where necessary give examples to support it

Today's children are tomorrow's citizens. It is the responsibility of the parents to bring them up as productive members as they are considered as the first teachers of a child. Some people believe that childcare training courses best way to teach the parents, how to handle these young minds, but, others oppose. However, I completely agree with the given notion.

To begin with, usually parents are grown up people with their own perceptions of life. Most of them leading leaving separately from their parents and don't know how to handle the children. These courses give them an opportunity to learn the details of childcare. This may enriches their mind with proper knowledge and these are very much beneficial for both parents and children. For instance, the right way of massaging an infant is unfamiliar to most of the parents. Through attending, these courses which highlight this and its right practice are make both parents and children happier.

Secondly, due to the popularity of nuclear families these parents hardly get a chance in their early life, how to look after a child. By following the instructions of the course, parents can overcome this. For example, the types of food given to a child during different stages of the child's growth can be learned through these classes and parents can provide nutritious healthy food to their children in a proper way and time duration.

Finally, there is an influence of generation gap in the way of caring the child. Previously, people are used to depend on the natural ways of is child caring by giving the warmth of the mother and the shade of the siblings. Young children learn skills, manners and discipline from their brothers or sisters, with are disappeared now. So parent should each them all these. Moreover, professional companies are taken over the natural food and ways of childcare. Therefore, it is increasingly pivotal to update young parents. To illustrate, the importance of breast milk is neglecting young mothers and these courses are helpful for them to come back to the natural ways.

To conclude, in my opinion, the right knowledge at right time will be beneficial for both parents and children. Hence, I strongly believe that this courses are the best way to update the child care knowledge in young parents.

SKhan 2 / 5  
Jan 28, 2013   #2
i m not an english expert but i feel there are few errors in sentence making and some mistakes:

*"Some people believe that childcare training courses (are) best way to teach the parents,"

*"Most of them leading* leaving* separately from their parents and don't know how to handle the children." (inappropriate sentence)
you may write:
most of them are living seperately, thus, missing the day to day childcare guidance of their elders.

* "Secondly, due to the popularity of nuclear families these parents hardly get a chance in their early life, how to look after a child. "(i dont understand this sentence...it seems meaningless..)

* "Through attending, these courses which highlight this and its right practice are make both parents and children happier."
you may write:
by attending these courses and practicing them will make the parents and children happier.

* "Finally, there is an influence of generation gap in the way of caring the child. "
you may write:
generation gap also influences childcare.

*"Previously, people are used to depend on the natural ways of is child caring by giving the warmth of the mother and the shade of the siblings" (inappropriate sentence)

*" Young children learn skills, manners and discipline from their brothers or sisters, with* (which) are* (is)
disappeared now." (also the sentence seem inappropriate to me)

*"To conclude, in my opinion, the right knowledge at right time will be beneficial for both parents and children. Hence, I strongly believe that this* (these) courses are the best way to update the child care knowledge in young parents*." (is this essay about young parents?)
devabe2005 46 / 97  
Jan 28, 2013   #3
So parent should each them all these --> t is missing teach them and these you didn't mention and it unclear
So parent should teach them all these behaviours
somysojan 8 / 19 8  
Jan 29, 2013   #4
childcare training courses best way to teach the parents

chechi: childcare training course is the best way to teach the parents, ( should put 'the' in front of superlatives.)
OP joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Jan 29, 2013   #5
hai Dev, Sadaf and somy..

Hai dev..
I appreciate your keen concenteration in reading..
Thanks keep it up...):
Hai Sadaf..
Yours concern and corrections are really apprectiable...
I am really thankl to you for your time and concern..

I posted the essay, in the late night without proof readig. I am bad at typing...(:

I aproched this question keeping in my mind the fact that, todays parents are more concerned about the bringing up of chlidren as they are living alone due to various reasons...

Befor chidren are care more by the elder members and their siblings in the past say in my chidhood...):
So i mentioned these factors...

In the question it is mentioned that, these days parents are more concerned

i changed young parents ==> today's parents

Hai somy...
Thanks for your suggestion...
But it is not is but are ...):

Thanks to all..
Tessy

Excuse for spelling mistakes..

Y
OP joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Jan 31, 2013   #6
Hai Hung..

Thanks for your wonderful correction..
It was really valuable..
It strength my essay

Thanks a lot..
Tessy


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