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Child labor is a common and dangerous phenomenon in some parts of the world.


Anaguna 21 / 27 5  
Apr 3, 2016   #1
In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience.

Discuss both opinions and give your opinion!


Child labor is a common phenomenon in some parts of the world. Some argued it is hard to accept while others say it is highly recommended. Whilst working in part time gives children work experience like the capability to manage their salaries, I would claim that it cannot be tolerated since this will interrupt their education form.

There are several positive developments of being a worker. Initially, youngsters can learn how to be patient in pressure of the boss and also practice their self-confidence. Additionally, it cannot be denied that the youngest come up with a novel mindset as same as the adult, though. They can manage their income more likely the oldest people done. Again, the children can take a responsibility to behave like a breadwinner in their surroundings since they have salaries which can occupy the necessity of their family. Thus, being the children workers benefits for their emotional and behavior.

On the other hand, getting children into work causes many drawbacks. Firstly, children's participation in the laborer force makes them losing their time for studying. This is because they spend long-term working hours longer than the learning time. In addition, if the youngest get a paid job, it is possible that the childhood time is interrupted and they lose a quality time with their peers. Lastly, the child workers cannot release from a discrimination, and lack of sufficient social protection. So, they tend to be unsociable people.

In conclusion, although the youngsters receive slight profit such as getting the salary, I believe they cannot set their time frame well in both of work and study. Where possible, the youngster must build their awareness in education in their young timeline.
lily89 7 / 6  
Apr 3, 2016   #2
Dear Ana, your essay is of smooth flow and understandable. Yet, let me give you some suggestions, I hope they are overly helpful for you:

1. Your essay is not coherence between introduction and body , in this case your introduction only mentions one idea, but your body is multiple idea which is same as body 2.

2. Be careful with

On the other hand

since you have to put on the one hand previously.
3. It is imperative that you have to use tenses correctly
For example :

Some argued it is hard to accept while others say it is highly recommended.

It means the event happen in the past. Yet, the motion uses present .


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