Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Child labour. In this modern era, several children works to earn money.


Masfufah 10 / 12  
Apr 3, 2016   #1
In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

Child labour is a term for employing minors with a small salary or consideration for their personality development, safety, health, and future prospect. In this modern era, several children works to earn money. While some argue that this has a negative impact for children future, others believe there are positive impact as work experience is very crucial for them. I personally assume that children involvement in work have dire consequences.

Many people hold the opinion that child labor causes only bad things. Children should not do work for earning money because they should only concentrate on their study instead of work. Childhood is only time when they can enjoy anything with their parents or friends instead of earning money because that time they should not need to think about responsibility of paying bills, fees and so on. In addition, children are not capable of doing all types of work in their childhood. As a result, children will fail to get proper education and other activities of a child.

However, child labour has a lot of advantages along with it. Apart from getting paid, child can gain an important experience and prepare for the work world. Young people also learn to take responsibility and organize themselves. Moreover, they think that it also plays an important role for learning and taking responsibility by them. Even though several child in developing countries work in order to help their families. For young people it becomes a necessity rather than a choice.

In conclusion, I believe that the disadvantages if paid work overweigh its advantages. Children should only concentrate on their study, while they gain an important experience by their job.

LaPolo11 12 / 28  
Apr 3, 2016   #2
that sentence below in introduction

Many people hold the opinion that child labor causes only bad things

Children should not do work for earning money because they should only concentrate on their study instead of work.

this sentence below can be a pragmatic instance

it is undeniable that teenager have responsibility for studying. Children should not do work for money because they should only focus on their study instead of work.
adeclara 5 / 6 1  
Apr 3, 2016   #3
Dear writer, you have written a very good essay. But I have some corrections for your writing.

1. "While some argue that this has a negative impact for children future", you should write " children's futures"

2. I believe that the disadvantages ifOF paid work overweigh its advantages.

3. "Children should only concentrate on their studySTUDIES , while they gain an important experience by their jobJOBS ."
Alternative sentence:
Even though there is no doubt that children gain important experiences by their jobs, the more vital thing is they should only concentrate on their studies.


Home / Writing Feedback / Child labour. In this modern era, several children works to earn money.