my English teacher told me to write an essay about 5 paragraph. The topic is " when you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? how did ur goals change as you grew up? why?
----When I went to middle school, all my friends always asked me "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I answered, "I want to become a dancer" because every time my parents were not home, I turned on the music and danced by myself. That was what i wanted to be when I grow up. However, when I got older, I realized that being a dancer was not my top goal anymore, because I decided to pursue some other goals. They include teaching, hair styling, and music.
---- The first goal beside dancer is to become a elemtary teacher. One reason is that I love kids because I like to play with them. Another reason is that I really like to helping kids.For instance, when Iwas in Vietnam, my mom always took me to her school and helped her to correct all the kids papers.And when my mom was busy, then I walked around and helped them coloring the picture. Also, when they had a break time, then I sat with them and played with them. Sometimes, my mom and I brought in some candies who got a good grade in class.
---- Another goal that I want to become is a hairdresser. First, I really care about my hair because one time I went to cut my hair and I told them to cut the bang for me. After ten minutes I looked at the mirror and I got so mad about her because she cut my bang too short. Second, hairstyle is very important thing for people because some people thought that this hairstyle would look nice on them if they cut that hairstyle. But that is not true at all. So if I am a hairist then I will help them to cut the hairstyle that really looks nice on them because if tthat person are happy with their hair style that I cut, then I also happy for them too.
--- The last goal I really love is musician. First reason is that no matter where I go, I always have my MP3 player around me because when I get bored or alone, then I take it out and listen it. For example, when i was in high school, everytime during lunch time I just at the table and listened the music by myself and did not talk with anyone. That's why one of my friend said to me that I am so quite. Second reason is that when I was a kid, my parents let me learn about how to play piano, but Ijust learned it few months and i didnt learn it anymore. So when I came to U.S, then Istarted to learn Piano again. I really like learn piano because after Iknow all the notes from the piano, then I can play any songs that Iwant to.
---- Over all, those are the goal that Iwant to be in later on. I hope that one day i can get all those degree and get a easy job to earn some money. And give a better life for my parents than what we have now.They deserve the best and I would like to offer that to them when I finish my education. I believe nothing is impossible in this world as long you are determined to make it possible.
i realized that dancing was not my top goal anymore, because i decided to change to another goal.
When I went to middle school, all my friends always asked me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" then I answered, "I want to become a dancer," because every time my parents were not home, then I turned on the music and danced by myself. That was what i wanted to be when i grow up. However, when I got older, i realized that being a dancer was not my top goal anymore, because i decided to change to another goal.
Capitalize those little "i" and little latters at the start of sentences.
Also, "every time" is 2 words.
Capitalize the first word of sentences being quoted:
When I went to middle school, all my friends always asked me, "What do you ...
Intro paragraph -- Now, I see that you had more than one new goal, so at the end of that intro paragraph, write:
...because I decided to pursue some other goals. They include teaching, hair styling, and music.
This is looking good! Fix the capitalization errors, that's all..
:-)
That way, the reader knows what is coming in the essay.
However, when I got older, I realized that being a dancer was not my top goal anymore, because I decided to pursue some other goals. They include teaching, hair styling, and music. <= i'm not sure that sentence is gonna be a thesis statement...
THANKS ALOT>>>>>>>:)
