Unanswered [27] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


Many childhood experiences leave a lifelong impression


northernbell 1 / 1  
May 22, 2013   #1
PLEASE critique MY ESSAY
TOPICS
Many childhood experience leave lifelong impression on people. In the space provided write an essay in which you describe a childhood experience and the effect it had on your life.

Many childhood experience leave lifelong impression on people, the one I could remember is when my dad taught me how to ride a bike. I was about five turning six when my dad bought home a brand new bike, that summer our lives had change for the better to the worst. My dad who was known as a patience person on the side of this earth had turn into the worst coach that ever existed. My dad made me hate riding a bike due to his strict rules and regulations. First my dad gave us the rules and regulation on riding a bike in the park and side walk. There he also told us about safety gear which need to be worn from there he proceed on how to ride safely without hurting yourself and others.

The summer of 1995, my dad bought my sister and I a brand new bike, he proceeded to teach us how to ride the bike. My father was the type of person that loved to follow rules and regulations. He took out of book which had rules for the road and sidewalk etiquette. My dad took about an hour or two explaining sidewalk etiquette, he drew pictures and gave explains on different situations and what to do. As a child I wanted to learn how to ride a bike. My dad gave us pop quiz and tells us how he would of answer the question differently. He felt like we were not ready to learn how to ride a bike due to the way we answered the questions. I was really upset that evening.

The next day, my dad continued with the rules and regulation by giving us the safety wear which we must wear at all time when we are on own bikes. He showed us a movie on what could happen when we don't wear our safety gear. That movie scared me so bad that it discourage me to even get on my bike. He goes on by show us the scared he got when he was a little boy due to not wearing his helmet. My sister and I put on our gear and promise my dad that we will wear it at all time. By this time we were afraid to get on own bike. His tone of voice and her mannerism was change to a soldier in the army. He stated he wanted the best for us so we need to follow rules and regulations.

Now, it was finally the time for my sister and I to get on our bike we were all dressed up in our bike gear helmet, knee pads, and elbow pads. My father placed me on my bike he started reciting the rules of the road in my ear telling me how to watch out for this and that. That was so annoying that I ask him if I could take a break. He stated we are here to learn and that is what is going too happened. I was so afraid that I ended crashing my bike and breaking my arm on the first day riding the bike. While in the and started stating the rules from there on, I had promise myself that I would never ride a bike for the rest of my life. This experience had effect my life as an adult I still don't know how to ride a bike and don't want to learn.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
May 22, 2013   #2
Many childhood experience leave a lifelong impression on people

, the one I could remember is when my dad taught me how to ride a bike.

.... take this to a new sentence;
For me, there is one such memorable experience that I still cherish with me as the best one I had in my childhood. It is the experience with learning how to ride a bike from my dad. ... is it a bike or a bicycle? To ride a bike you need to be pretty grown up, don't you?

that summer our lives had change for the better to the worst.

... this is confusing - is it " for the better from worst" or " from better to the worst" ?

My dad who was known as a patience patient person on the side of this earth had turn into the worst coach that ever existed.

Until that day, I knew my dad as the coolest person on earth who was with great patience. However, with this new arrival, he changed himself to the worst coach I ever knew.
OP northernbell 1 / 1  
May 29, 2013   #3
Thank you for you help, do the rest of the essay flow well


Home / Writing Feedback / Many childhood experiences leave a lifelong impression
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳