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IELTS TASK2: more children are accessing the internet unsupervised.


tugyts 3 / 4  
Apr 17, 2016   #1
More and more children as accessing the internet unsupervised and at a younger age.This can sometimes put children at risk.
What problems do you think parens face when dealing with their children using the internet?
How can this problem be solved?


The computer is considered as a wonder invention of modern world and young people are more attracted to using computers than the older age.It may result in having detrimental effects an children lifes so there are some solutions to tackle with this obsession between young ages and the internet.

Firstly,anonymously using the internet is spread readily yo annoy,abuse,threaten or harass the children who receive the communication via internet.Lots of family have worry for their kids when they surfing because the child abuse and other offences related to clidren are getting warmer around the world.Secondly,there are many con-artist out there,who approach gullible individuals online for the purpose of money exaotation,after getting personal information about parents from their kids.

There are a few things that can be done by parents to reduce the risk of children from the deceptive individuals.The firt step could be that being kept a closer watch on children,who are often connection to internet.Parents,therefore,have to control or browse which kind of sites were visited once again.The second step,they should buy the limited access users ,thus anyone would go surfing in safe and they could be protected the ongoing supervised dangers in internet.

To conclude,the accessing everhthing contained in internet could be unstoppable so lots of parents home to search the way of protection setting from any detimental effects will be danger to kids in future.

tria25 12 / 19 4  
Apr 17, 2016   #2
Hi Tugyts,
I am able to understand your idea in this writing, yet I find some grammatical errors in it. Let me give you some suggestions to help you improving it.

The computer is considered as a wonder invention of modern world and young people are more attracted to using computers than the older age.which eiger many people to use it nowadays.

It may result in having detrimental effects an children lifes
It creates detrimenttal effects in children's lives

yoto annoy,abuse,threaten or harass the children ...
Wolf Larsen - / 127 47  
Apr 17, 2016   #3
Hello tugyts

The text is quite understandable but you could use rephrasing some sentences as follows:

The computer [...] Computer technology is closely associated with the realities of a modern living - young people are especially fascinated by it.
It may result [...] This situation, however, is rather precarious, as there is plenty of evidence that children's obsession with computers has a detrimental effect on their ability to become the society productive members.

Firstly [...] First, by surfing the web children face the risk of being harassed and threatened.
Lots of family [...] You should probably just remove this sentence - it's not very intelligible.
exaotation [...]extortion, after having obtained from kids some personal information about their parents.
risk of [...] risk for children to be taken advantage of by con-artists.
The firt step [...] One of the things parents can do, in this respect, is keeping a close eye on what children do while online.
The second step [...] Another thing would be limiting children's access to the Internet.
To conclude [...] In conclusion, parents indeed have the obligation to pay close attention to what account for their children's online activities.

I hope it helped. Regards.


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