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Children activities in Australia - IELTS Writing Task1- Bar chart

segrid15 2 / 4  
Oct 28, 2022   #1

a report for a university lecturer describing the shown information

The bar chart shows the percentage of children ranging from 5 to 14 years old in Australia who took part in five different leisure activities, including skateboarding and rollerblading, bike riding, watching TV or videos, electronic and computing games, and art and craft.

Overall, boys and girls stay most actively watching TV or videos, which earned a 100 percent participation rate for leisure activities. However, skateboarding and rollerblading have the least engagement for boys and girls. Only 40 percent of 5 to 14 years old boys and 30 percent of girls participate in skateboarding and rollerblading.

There are 80 percent of boys and 60 percent of girls select electronic and computer games for their leisure activities, followed by 70 percent of boys and 60 percent of girls taking part in bike riding. While it is interesting that girls are more interested in art and craft than boys, which gets 55 percent of girls and 40 percent of boys participated in leisure activities.

  • Bar chart
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,249 4652  
Oct 28, 2022   #2
The summary overview is going to receive a failing GRA score due to the improper information presentation. Avoid the use of run-on sentences in this section. The summary overview should be comprised of at least 3 but no more than 5 sentences. Each sentence should represent one information set from the graph. In this case, the sentences should have been divided into:

Sentence 1: The subject of the image
Sentence 2: The age range provided
Sentence 3: The activities listed
Sentence 4: Measurement criteria used
Sentence 5: Trending statement

These separations will help clearly define the content of the image and the important, short form of the provided information. This will make the section scannable and well within the scoring considerations for the TA score of a task 1 essay. Additionally, the summary overview is missing a proper trending sentence. While the word "overall" is often used to represent the trending reference, the fact that it was made a part of the reporting section was an incorrect writing format for the essay. The trending statement is always included in the summary overview as this is a shortened form of the overall reporting task.
nataliely 4 / 6 1  
Oct 29, 2022   #3
In the overall sentence, please don't provide specific information (figures).
Providing more about patterns in the overall section.

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