Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.
Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least250 words.
Most people believe that children attitude is responsibility of parents. While others think school think that school is the place to shape the children manners. However I stand in both of sides, but it cannot be separated from the role of government.
Whole life of children is spent with their family. Before they are growing into the school age, all of kid activities are supervised by blood relation. They did not know everything since they were borne. The parents took roles of this. Parent, father and mother should explain the way how to be a good one. However, in the society, there is belief that children outlook reflect of their father and mother value. Public will give more attention to the impolite kids. For example, at the time children accustomed to talk the big voice, it gave information that their family is a kind of arrogant one.
In other hand, the role of teacher in enlightening the way to be a good member of society is also essential. They can start to describe which one is great manner or not, explaining the society like or dislike. In my country, there is a subject that takes role of this responsibility. It called 'kewarganegaraan'. It means citizenship. Teacher gives material about morals and social behavior.
However, another side which takes role of children manners is government. Government should make a foundation that arranges the way of becoming polite and great life in society. Also government must supervise the public attitude. When they made a crime, they have to be in law.
In conclusion, the way to make children become immense in society. There are three elements that have roles of it. They must be corporate in explaining and supervising the children attitude. All of elements are very close in kids' life.
Ill mostly just correct grammar or improve sentences. Blue means what i added
childrena child's attitude isthe responsibility ofthe parents.
school think that school is the place to shape a child's manners.
" However I stand in both of sides, but it cannot be separated from the role of government." by this sentence i suppose you disagree or agree with both as " I stand in both of sides" is grammatically incorrect.I cant change it because I don't yet understand the stance you take .I dont understand what you mean by " cannot be separated from the role of government"
"Whole life of children"--> A child's whole life...
You may notice im using child a lot instead of children.it sounds cleaner and it still refers to the average daily life of children aka still general.
"Before they are growing into the school ..." nice statement meh wording can be compressed into
"Before they enter school, most children are supervised by their parents or other guardians.The parents had taken the responsibility of caring and teacher a child since he was born." I recommend not to copy this word by word as it doesn't stick well with the whole essay.Its just an example on how you can fix it.
"Parent, father and mother should explain the way how..." Nice statement.Confusing wording.-->
"Parents should teach their children important values such as politeness. The general public point fingers at bad parenting when a child is being impolite.For example, a child taking in a loud and arrogant manner would make observers think that his parents are also brutish and arrogant."
" In other hand, the role of teacher in enlightening ... "
I reworded and corrected it into
"On the other hand, the role of a teacher is to educate not only about academics but to enlighten their students on proper behavior.They reward good behavior and correct bad behavior. This allows their students to act in a good manner out in the public.In my country , there is a subject that takes care of this,it i called the 'kewarganegaraan'.It means citizenship and teachers of this subject talk about morals and social behavior."
"In conclusion, the way to make children become ..."
Nice idea for a conclusion but needs grammar fixing.
"In conclusion,the proper way to make children become useful members of a society is to teach them proper manners and social behaviors.Children must be taught not only by their parents but also their teachers as only a combination will truly allow a student to learn proper behaviors."
Last note: I did not change the meaning of your paragraphs but you need to clarify what you are talking about.Some points are contradicting or not even mentioned.For example you talked about government intervention but wrote only 1 line about it.Add more ideas and refine your sentences to write an excellent essay.
These are my corrections for your writing.
make you sure to review those so that you do not fall the same mistake.
Most people believe that children'S attitude is A responsibility of parents. While others
think school think that A school is the A place to shape BUILT the children manners. However, I stand in both of sides, but it THOSE cannot be separated ...
THE Whole life of children ...
Before they are growing UP into the school age, ...
... everything since they were
THE ParentS father and mother should ...
However, in the society, there is belief BECAUSE SOCIETY BELIEVES that THE children outlook reflectS of their father and mother value. THE Public will give more ...
at the time WHEN children accustomed to talk TALKING WITH the big voice, it gave GIVES information that their ... In ON THE other hand, the role of A teacher in enlightening the ...
They can start to describe
which one SOMEONE WHO is great manner or not, ...
... there is a subject that takes THE role of this responsibility.
However, another side which takes THE role of children ...
THE Government should make a ...
Also MOREOVER, government AUTHORITY must supervise the public attitude. When they made COMMIT a crime, they have to be in law GET A PUNISHMENT.
the way to make children become immense in society THE PROCESS OF CHILDREN'S GROWING UP SHOULD BE GUIDED BY SOME AUTHORITIES . There are three elements that have roles of it .
All of elements are very close in THE kids' life.
Please, call an attention to the meaning of your sentences.