Unanswered [27] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


Will the children benefit from the additional income? Or will they lack support from their parents?


theamazingshao 3 / 5 1  
Oct 6, 2019   #1

more money or parental love?



In the present age, most couples recognize a necessity for both to exert themselves more to make ends meet. Some believe that the additional income consequentially stands their offsprings in good stead. Meanwhile, others contend that the children may lack the indispensable care from their parents. In this essay, I will elaborate on both these viewpoints and give my own opinion.

On the one hand, it can be concerned that the extra money earned, in many ways, positively affect the children's life. The couples are more likely to pay for a better living standard as well as other household expenses. As a result,the kids may have a better-based background both educationally and socially. For example, a well-being family can afford the great sum of money to send their kids to a prestigious school with high-qualified teaching staff.

On the flipside, I would argue that despite the sufficiency in materials, the children still deprive of the inevitably emotional support from their mom and dad. It is obvious that if parents both go out to work, the kids will be left at home alone and bored. This phenomenon may gradually trigger some insecure feelings or worse, unpredictable behaviour in children, especially in teenagers.

In conclusion, it is important to acknowledge the merits of the two given perspectives. However, I am more convinced of the latter idea and thus, parents' absence in their offspring 's everyday life should be limited as much as possible.
Xphire99 1 / 1 2  
Oct 6, 2019   #2
Okay, first things first, I will like you to correct some grammatical errors in your write up. For example elaborate on these both viewpoints could just be elaborate on both viewpoints, check the last sentence in the first paragraph.

On the third paragraph too, you might want to check the first sentence. Although I really don't know what the writeup is for, I feel you can write better than this. I didn't see any reason why you supported the latter perspective other than telling us you did.

What I felt you did was judge between two conflicting opinions without giving any reason why you feel either of the argument is superior. I feel you should do more in this regard. You should be able to give the disadvantages of both and make us see why your choice is the lesser evil.


Home / Writing Feedback / Will the children benefit from the additional income? Or will they lack support from their parents?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳