Children are better to spend their golden age by seeking knowledge and not earning money

In many countries, children are engaged in some kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as a valuable work experience.

children taking a paid work are in the increasing rate in many countries. some people believe that it will be useful for their life in the years of come, whereas other people say that it should not be allowed. while a valuable experience will be obtained by the pupils, i am more likely to emphasize that children is much better to spend their golden age by seeking knowledge as earn money should not be their responsibility.

It is often said that children working while they are studying would gain much more experiences. this is because they are involved with various activities which are highly beneficial for their future life. They have known how to find the solution of their expenditure because they had been a part of it. Besides, children doing a paid job will meet new people who had much worth experience where children can learn from them. In addition, children will gain other precious learning about life such as create the sensitiveness of their surrounding since they know that money is not that easy to be earned, hence it makes them more appreciate for every single things of their life. The under age children will be so influenced by their paid job experience in the years of come.

On the other hand, some people believe that in children age, they should not do any kinds of job as their parents are the one who should earn money for them. In addition, children age should be the stage for them to socialize with their peers by going to school or playing games. Children who working even for part time surely will not focus on their study due to the reason their mind should think about their job which had become their other priority. Child development should be used for seeking knowledge for them to be more preparing about their future as an educated people.

It seems to me that having a job for children is totally unacceptable. Working is not suitable for their age since the working risk will affect their health. In addition, children's mentality should not be forced to think hard , thus resulting in stress suffered by them. Therefore, it is true that children should be encouraged to study solely.

First off, I really like the points that you've made but I think you can maybe organize it to be a bit less repetitive.

Here are some things I think you can add to your final paragraph to sound a bit less harsh because you never know who will be reading this:)

I firmly believe that students should focus mainly on building their education because at such a crucial age of development, kids should take advantage or every learning experience. While working can be beneficial and help build character, it's important to place that as a second priority.