Hi miss mei. Here are my suggestions towards your essay
Teachers and parents should responsible
You can change this sentence to be "teachers and parents should be the ones who are responsible to give...."
Studying activities force
s children to think
harder . Their brain must work
moreharder to accept and keep the knowledge from learning
source .
... help their brain when
they are thinking.
... Health Organization about
the correlation between food and
the ability of brain.
... subjects in their memory
depends on45% depend on the food which they consume
, having 45 percent of total requirement factors of their brain development .
I hope it can be helpful for you.
Goodluck and Keep Spirited.