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IELTS TASK 2: Children consume too much unhealthy food. Cause & solution?


muffle 3 / 12  
Sep 14, 2013   #1
Many of the world's children consume far too much unhealthy food. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to solve it?

Unhealthy food consuming among children is a tragedy of the present age. The problem is best explained by parents' influences and the development of food industries, but can be alleviated by changing children's attitudes toward food and placing tight regulations on junk food marketing.

It is difficult to argue with the idea that parents play a strong role in their children's eating habits. Due to work circumstances, people routinely resort to unhealthy eating options. Parents are more likely to skip cooking family meals and feed their children with take-out meals or prepared entrees. As a result, children follow their parents' patterns. Another reason for children yearning for junk food is excessive pampering by the parents and always allowing children to have their ways in consuming junk food.

Junk food advertising is also a culprit for the obesity and bad eating diets among children. As food companies spend more to promote their food on social media, children tend to see more food ads. The main issue of most viewing junk food ads is that it depicts junk food in a delicious and tantalizing form which acts as boosters for increasing appetite for them.

The best way to deal with the regrettable situation at hand is to train children about food and their eating habits. If children are taught properly, they are more likely to make healthy food choices and minimize the intake of junk food themselves as well. Parents also need to try cooking regularly at home and serving home-made meals. Another measure is that a ban on junk food during peak children's viewing times should be applied.

Please help me in improving my writing. Sometimes, I find it hard to develop ideas for an essay. Is there any good suggestion to do that? Thanks in advance for your help.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Sep 16, 2013   #2
Unhealthy food consumingconsumption among children is a tragedy of the present age.

Consumption of unhealthy food by children is a tragedy in today's world.

The problem is best explained by parents' influences and the development of food industries,

... it does not give the idea that these are the reasons. Better rephrase this line again.

It is difficult to argue with the idea that parents play a strong role in their children's eating habits.

... I think you should remove the first part. It disturbs your main idea;
Obviously, parents do play a major role in shaping their children's food habits. However, due to work pressures, busy schedules and various social and economic concerns, some parents tend to ignore this factor.
OP muffle 3 / 12  
Sep 16, 2013   #3
thanks a lot for your correction. I know what's wrong with my essay now.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Sep 19, 2013   #4
The best way to deal with the regrettable situation at hand is to train children about food and their eating habits.

.... you should not crowd your sentences with too many words unnecessarily. That harms your flow ;
The best way to deal with this situation is to educate children about the importance of nutrients and healthy eating habits as well as the adverse effects that can be caused by unhealthy diets.

If children are taughtmade aware properly, they are more likely to make healthy food choices and minimize the intake of junk food themselves as well.


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