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Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Parents and schools responsible?

Hoang Ha ktl 2 / 3  
Jul 10, 2015   #1
Nowadays, many children live unhealthily. Some people believe that not only parents, but also schools have to be responsible for solving this difficulty. However, I think that the government cannot stand out of helping children in order to bring them healthy lifestyle.

To begin with, it is very polluted on our surroundings, so children who live in this environment may have a bad health. For example, they are easily weak because of air pollution or they become obese because of eating food that is bad quality. Therefore, their parents should prepare their meals when they stay at home , and schools should teach them how to find food be good for their health. Besides, the government should have many politics of protecting the environment as well as control strictly on producing food.

On the other hand, there are many programs on television for children so they can sit in front of TV screen all day. This makes not only their eyes damaged, but also them have not time for physical exercises what are essential for their life. Therefore, parents have to limit time for their kids to watch television and save time to play some kind of sports with them. Moreover, schools should have various physical activities what their pupils can choose to suit with their favourite. In addition, the government should control time of TV broadcasting for children.

In conclusion, in order to children have a healthy lifestyle, the major responsibility belongs to parents because they spend the most time on being next their kids. However, schools or the government also plays an important role in this problem.
jyh2013 2 / 2 2  
Jul 11, 2015   #2
I think that to support your argument, you should show the more reasonable example..it seems that you fail to link the environment problem with its negative effect on children's health and should clarify parents' or school's role to deal with such problem.
shintacandrade 10 / 74 87  
Jul 11, 2015   #3
Hi Ha Hoang,

1. Please write the question completely so that readers enable providing meaningful feedback for your writing.

2. It is better if you give a space among each paragraph because your layout is important when you write an academic writing. Paragraphing also helps readers to understand your ideas easily.

3. Well, my first impression is that your essay could be too short and may not be meeting the word count requirement for the task. Remember, your score may be reduced if you write less.

Keep writing. Cheers!

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