Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 11

Children with different levels of intelligence should be taught separately???


hungvud 19 / 30 6  
Jun 8, 2012   #1
Here is my new essay. Please help to comment. Thank you guys in advance :)

It is widely believed that children of different levels of intelligence should be taught together, while others think that more intelligent children should be taught separately.

Discuss and present your own opinion.


It goes without saying that children education is an issue of much controversial. Some people think that children should be taught equally together regardless of their different intelligence levels. While some others claim that it is not appropriate. I am of the opinion that children with differences in intelligent levels should be educated separately. My view is based on the following reasons

While it is true that studying together may help young learners to develop their sense of harmony. However, this also has a lot of serious defects such as de-motivation, demoralization and weariness. For example, young people who study together with those of higher level intelligence often have the sense of inferiority. There are always questions in the minds such as "How come my friends can answer such difficult questions but they cannot?" "Why other people can resolve the exercises but I cannot?", "The teacher is teaching to fast, I cannot understand what he is talking about", "Am I really a loser?" If this situation last long, it will lead to demoralization and weariness in these children. In contrast, those who are more intelligent feel restricted in term of intellectual freedom. They deserve more difficult assignments or broader and deeper knowledge but cannot, and this will cause them de-motivated later on.

Another advantage of teaching children separately is that teachers can take care of their students better and give them more appropriate education. For instance, if good students are put into a more open education, where creative ideas are encouraged, with a lot of academic challenges, they are more likely to become excellent students. On the hand, children at lower level of intelligence with closer attention of teachers and families as well as given relevant teaching methods they will become better students. Besides, teaching separately also help to develop the sense of competition in children which is crucial for society development. Is Havard still the number one University in the world if one day it opens for every student?

In conclusion, my opinion is that although the sense of harmony can be generated by teaching children together, the pros of teaching children separately base on differences in level of their intelligence far outweigh those of teaching together. It is not only good for the development of children in individual but also for society in general.

hesperia - / 6  
Jun 9, 2012   #2
I agree what you say, but don't you think it's too short for an essay?
OP hungvud 19 / 30 6  
Jun 9, 2012   #3
Thanks hesperia :) are you being sarcastic? 350 words...Actually I am trying to reduce the number of words in my essays, 270 to 280 words is suffice in IELTS task 2 exam :(
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jun 9, 2012   #4
Hi

It goes without saying that children education is an issue of much controversialy.---------------------------------------e.g. His speech was very controversial, there is a controversy over the new appointments.

Some people think that children should be taught equally together regardless of their different intelligence levels . Whileintellectual capacities while some others claim that it is not appropriate. --------- it has to be one sentence... i also did a small replacement :)

While it is true that studying together may help young learners to develop their sense of harmony ?????????????. ------------------- While is used to combine two actions or balance contrasting ideas. For example; She called me while I was having dinner, While I love to spend time with my mother, I don't like her treating me like a small kid. ... So, your sentence is incomplete.... I suggest;

While it is true that studying together may help young learners develop their sense of harmony, it may not be fair by the bright students who would progress faster if they learn together with children of equal intellectual capacity.

However, this also has a lot ofmany serious defectsdrawbacks such as de-motivation, demoralization and weariness.
"How come my friends can answer such difficult questions but theythat I cannot?"
"Why other people can resolve the exercises but I cannot?", "The teacher is teaching to fast, I cannot understand what he is talking about", "Am I really a loser?" ---------- these examples become redundant by the first one... avoid too many examples, one strong is more than enough :)

If this situation lasts long,

In contrast, those who are more intelligent feel restricted in terms of intellectual freedom.

Also you have not provided a specific example for your argument. You would score marks for that. Give more specific examples rather than general and theoretical ones... Just follow this link, which is one of my threads, in which I've done a similar type of essay... If you read it, you may understand what I'm trying to tell ;

Can see that you have improved your structure.... it is the way to move forward... as I always say, ''you can write well''
:)
OP hungvud 19 / 30 6  
Jun 9, 2012   #5
Thank you so much Dumi :) And thanks for your essay. How to say...I was overwhelmed :) what an adorable essay!!! Please tell me would you have enough time to write that long, if you were in the exam. Can you help to advise me how many words should I write in IELTS task II, the minimum is 250 words but I often make it at least 350 words? I am afraid that I would be lacked of time in the real IELTS exam if I keep writing like this :(
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jun 9, 2012   #6
Dear Hung Vu,

I think the first thing to tackle this time management issue is stop worrying about it... with practice it automatically picks up. When you write essays, keep time and do your first draft. Don't be disappointed by not being able to finish it nicely. However, redo the essay until it gets a good finish. There are some hints I can give and even can offer more help for you needed. If you need my assistance, tell me I can give you my personal e-mail so that we can have a more focused discussion. I have no hesitation in helping you as I love your style of writing and also admire your enthusiasm on improving your writing skills. It's my pleasure :)

Also by reading other's essays and the comments provided for them, you would get a good insight about writing this type of essays. That way you can collect ideas on different themes as well. Let me know you need my e-mail contact :)
OP hungvud 19 / 30 6  
Jun 9, 2012   #7
I am much relieved by your advice :)

Thank you so much Dumi, it's my pleasure to know you :) Absolutely I need your email, please...If it is not convenient to show your private email here, you send me an email to hung.vu.d@gmail.com. Thank you again for your enthusiasm.

P/S: I have learnt some thing about the history of your country from your essay :) That's great!!! One of my colleagues is from your country, and he is also very nice to me. God bless Sri Lanka :)
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jun 9, 2012   #8
sure... i will drop you a mail soon :)
hellyett - / 1  
Jun 10, 2012   #9
Hi its hellyet
I feel it is relevent to add a comment here , i have dyslexia and according to my learning profile have a rally good brain , yet i fibnd the group process in the class room can be confusing .

so there would be an advantage to a seperate learing area , yet despite my disability , I have been told that I have the brian power of the top 10% of the country so if the content is delvered for a percieved lack of brightness would not relalaly meet thos needs .

I have just fa iled my Year 3 university exams.
the Curent Equality Act 2012 mkes it imperative that employers and potentilly other organisatiions make positive provision for Differently abled Protected persons .
thought i would also add in soem reading I did at the libary that shows how boys and Girls Learn differently , cant recall the title

howere just keyed in this in the libary catalogue it was a really goood read
Hellyett
OP hungvud 19 / 30 6  
Jun 10, 2012   #10
Thank you Anita, welcome to the forum and very nice to meet you :)
nina2 1 / 5  
Jun 10, 2012   #11
dont criticize your paper because of the length because trust me, i did that once and i submitted an essay that happened to be long and very detailed to my teacher and i did not get a good grade, so i resent him my short one and i got a wayy better grade!

btw yours is good. you may think you need to delete some parts to make it short but you might be deleting some details.


Home / Writing Feedback / Children with different levels of intelligence should be taught separately???